How do you end a friendship??

[CosmicG]

I've been friends with a guy that i have known for about 6 yrs now. We have hung out together for a long time...thing is I have grown & changed over the yrs and am not the same person I was when we first met. I am quite an optimistic person, responsible, look after my health and have my priorities in order. He is a magnet for negativity in his life, has very low self esteem, neglects his health and his intimate relationships are often with people who are depressed, needy and selfish. He does not have the confidence to end relationships when they are going wrong. He's been known to be a bit of a drip. I have been sort of trying to wean him out of my life by not always answering his calls and spending less time with him. He's now asked me today, if I want to go out for the evening. I dnt know what to do. Should i just tell him how i feel and that my heart is just not in the friendship anymore. He's very sensitive and I think this would really hurt. Or do I just make up an excuse? I couldn't carry on making up excuses forever though. Any advice would be helpful.

No I'm busy - not an excuse and no need to explain what your 'busy' is. You can reduce a friendship without ending it - if he asks be honest and say while you like him his negativity really affects you.

reducing it, rather than ending it completely sounds good. He may even feel encouraged to make some positive changes in his life.

Defriend or reject any friend requests from this person on Facebook.

Have already deleted from facebk. Don't think he noticed though as he hardly ever used it.

"After the week I've had I really need cheering up so I'd not be the best company for someone who's always negative by nature ".

Either say let's leave it for now, we'll catch up soon - or take the bull by the horns and say come to think of it, you're not been on the same wavelength for quite some time and it's probably better if you both look to socialise with other friends.

I had a male friend like this a long time ago. Honestly I was immature and didn't deal with as I should have. I distanced myself and avoided his calls. I wasn't the only one who felt like this.

It doesn't feel good. If you really want him out of your life, like seriously, I'd say just do it. Sometimes friends like this are energy vampires. Be honest which will take some bravery.

I've done this over the last couple of years (reduced rather than "no contact"). Your description sounds exactly like my friend. Not answering calls, and either ignoring texts and emails, or waiting a couple of days before replying, is the way to go, I think. And for direct invitations (such as calling round for coffee) I usually say "no, I think not". I never say "sorry" or "thanks" or make excuses (eg "I'd love to, but I'm going out").

For specific reasons, I didn't want to have a big falling-out with him. We're down to an email every 2-3 months now, so I think he's finally got the message.