It's just dawned on me that this is what it will be like on my own

[gingerbreadshoes]

Posted before about dp's EA, the latest being with many OW on the internet.

He has been staying with a friend this week and up until now I have been fine, a friend even commented on how calm I was. I need to go to sleep as ds is a very full on child but I can't sleep and have realised that this is how I would be if we split up, on my own

I think I have reached the decision of not staying together as everything keeps on playing over and over in my mind, all the bad points that until now I had accepted and overlooked suddenly seem crucial.

I don't want to be alone but I can't be with someone I don't trust anymore.

I don't know what I expect by starting this thread but I need a distraction from my own loneliness

It won't last forever x

It will be a stage, and yes you pass thro it by yourself, as we all do from time to time, but it won't last forever xx

Thank you, this time last week I still thought everything was fine - how wrong I was

What's keeping you awake? Are you nervous of being the only adult in the house, or is your mind buzzing with thoughts?

This is all recent, so you can't say for certain how you will feel after some time has passed.

It's just my mind, it doesn't bother me by being in the house alone.

Am now having my first proper cry about it all, mostly about poor ds how could he do this to him??!

My little saying I say to myself on days/ nights where I feel like you is "this too shall pass". It's been 6 months for me on my own after ex p cheating and I've honestly felt a range if emotions every day. Just try to get some sleep and tomorrow is another day. You'll be ok.....day at a time xxx

Congratulations - I think you've just made the decision that opens the door to the rest of your life.

You deserve better than your life with him. Go enjoy it.

First day without ds today but so far it has been ok.

I have been out to lunch with family which was a lovely suprise and am now watching tv in peace

Although dp has taken ds out alone before it does feel different today but not as bad as I imagined it would.

Am looking forward to plenty of cuddles when he returns!

So glad things are better than you thought they might be.

Omg I love being on my own in the house.I had raging insomnia for the first few weeks after ex left I'm not really sure why but wide awake at night exhausted in the day at work but it was transient.Its so much nicer not having to pander to awkward ex at meal times going to bed when I'm ready things staying fairly clean and the biggest and bestest no blinkin man shits that take an hour and stink the house out My kids say he still does it poor ow ha ha

Sandiy it does have it's benefits .

I have had a nap as I'm still struggling with sleeping and done all of the housework.

You are right about it staying cleaner and tidier, I always thought I was the messy one but clearly not!

Ds is home but v tired so is going to bed early. I have got to ask dp about something else I have discovered so will be back with an update later.