Ex husbands girlfriend and my dd

[Tillylils]

Ex and I split up 2 years ago and have a 7 year old dd who he sees regularly. Within a year of us splitting up he had a girlfriend and they moved in together within a few weeks. We agreed that dd shouldn't meet the gf for a year but he went ahead and did it anyway after 4 months. His reasons for this were that he didn't like having to live 2 separate lives.
So for a while things were ok, sometimes dd would want her dad to herself, but she liked the gf and was happy for her to be around most of the time.
Now my dd hasn't seen the gf for a good few months, maybe just a couple of times since Christmas. When ex has her for the weekend they stay at his dads. He has also had her for a week during the holidays on 2 separate occasions and the gf has not been seen.
This is fine by me, but I am wondering why, does she not like dd? I'm not sure whether to ask him or just to leave it. It just seems a bit strange that things seemed to be going so well.

None of your business?

I would hazard a guess that they've probably split up and he doesn't yet know how to break it to your dd. I would ask him tbh.

He's spoken about her and things they've done recently so I don't think they've split up.
I am aware it's none of my business but they've been together for about 18 months now and if they're going to be together long term, I don't like the idea of her not liking my daughter. She can avoid most of the time, but there will be occasions when they're together.

Maybe she's been busy or respects your ex's time alone with his daughter. What's worrying you?

Absolutely nothing yoy can do about it whether she likes your daughter or not so you should probanly not worry about it

I'd be pleased to be honest - as loving says - maybe she respects that he wants time alone with his DD!

Thanks for the replies. Loving-maybe it is that, I hope so. I'm just worried that my daughter will have to deal with a stepmother who doesn't like her in the future but I guess we'll have to deal with that then.

unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about it... i sympathise, it's v difficult having to hand over your child when you don't really know what's happening. hopefully the GF is letting them have some time together which, in my experience with ds1, can be quite precious to the child. as for dealing with a stepmother who doesn't like their stepchild, ds1 is 12 and copes pretty well with the open hostility his stepmother displays to him as he eventually worked out it's her problem not his.

I had this when I was young. My Dad had a a gf, Vanessa...She was a prize bitch. She sometimes went to her Mum's when I stayed (lived 200 miles away so was generally a good few nights). Shame she didn't stay away all the time.

I was prob about the same age as your DD. If it makes you feel any better I wasn't overly aware of her dislike/jealousy at the time, not until I was an adult did I think it through (would loved to have met her again then let me tell you).

I'm trying to think what would help your DH. I guess a general "if anyone is mean to you always tell Mummy or Daddy" but be comforted that she is too busy being a 7 year old girl to notice her sour face.

I can see why you are concerned. My parents divorced and my dad got a new girlfriend. We would stay at their house every other weekend and his gf said hello to us on a Friday evening and goodbye on a Sunday evening and that was all.

It didn't upset us but they dynamics were weird and often uncomfortable. 17yrs later I still don't know how to act around her, which will eventually be awkward for my DD as I will have to explain who she is.

If she is staying away your DD won't pick up on any vibes, so I guess it's a good thing, but I would speak to your ex about it in a casual way... "DD says she's not seen "X" for a while; I hope she's OK and not too busy at work or anything."

It could become uncomfortable for your DD if she is staying out of the way because she doesn't like her, as there will be times when she can't avoid it and the lack of contact will make it awkward for everyone. But unless you speak to your ex you won't know the reason for her not being around.

Oh, and I was 7 when they first got together and my siblings and I all picked up on her dislike/unease and we all felt unwelcome and awkward, so I would speak to your ex to find out what the issue is. There might not be one but if there is your ex needs to sort it out. My Dad didn't and the problem still exists today.