HE'S DONE IT AGAIN!!!!!!

[now0what]

i posted a few months ago about my dp leaving porn on the tv system and i came along with the kids and turned the tv on and the kids saw everything!:(
After that he promised that his porn would never be on the tv ever again and he would only have porn on his personal laptop. i agreed to this and told him that if anything like this was to happen again that would be it! as protecting my kids from such smut is more important than our relationship.

Last week he opened his laptop and because it had been in hybernation the last thing he was doing came up... it was a picture of some teen pussy my dd saw it and said errrrr, he quickly shut his laptop and i screamed at him etc and he said he is sorry and that he won't let it happen again etc etc and because i am 9 months pg i let it go:(

However tonight i turned on the TV and found a porno there, The kids were not around but thats not the point he promised me that never would he use the TV computer as a wanking station! if i had not found it the kids might have again!

all together theres 4 incidences like this that have happened this year! wtf am i to do? shall i let it brush over again? I am in early labour atm too, im sure baby will be born within days. please advise:(:(:(

"it was a picture of some teen pussy my dd saw it and said errrrr"

Excuse my language but I really don't know which of the three things is worse:
-that he had been seing "teen" pussies
-that your DD had seen them too or
-that you will have,in a few years time, a teen with a pussy in your own house along with somebody who likes to look at them.

Better parp myself away.

Thinking off you babe and don't know what to say wish i could make it better but just sending hugs XXX I think he needs a bloody shake up but only you can know what do for the best sweetheart XXX

A thousand appologies Nowowhat, just realised you are pregnant and in early labour (stupid me!). My advice would be to take things one at a time, concentrate in your baby first and push this to the back of your mind until you are ready to deal with it and the time is right for it.

do you think i should be freaked out about the pron he is looking at? ie "teen" i know my dd will be a teen in 7+ years- god this is too disgusting to even think about:(
your right maybe i should be more worried about this!

i feel like chucking him out and dealing with the birth etc on my own, i don't feel i can trust him now anyway why would i want him at the birth. although i dunno whether im thinking straight right now.

No, don't do that, please forget it, you have more important things to concentrate in at the moment. Don't take any decisions yet (apart from having a bonfire with all her porn tapes in the house), big decisions have to be taken after a careful considerations when the circumstances of the day may not confuse your decisions. This is not the right time for big decisions.

NowOwhat - Chandra's second post is quite right, there's time to put the porn thing into perspective after the important days to come are over and your precious little bundle is here

It's a highly charged time - I didn't know how to react to my dp before the birth and wanted him out of the way - short term he was fabulous support at the birth. An experience i would never wish away.

Take your time sweetie and insist he focuses on you for the coming events...

Any 'issues' can be tackled when you're less vulnerable to hightened emotions and clear minded enough to impose whatever decisions you make.

Hugs - take care

I ould leave without a doubt, might not be what you want to hear but this is unacceptable. I have just found out that my husband to be in 2 weeks has been cheating on me.

Goodluck and you can cat me if you need to.

Well, I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that, at least some of the time, he does keep his wits about him and remembers to put his porn away where the kids aren't likely to accidentally see it. But, if you're stumbling upon it inadvertently with such frequency, I would say you've got a man with a real problem. Sounds like it's an all-the-time-thing, instead of a once-in-awhile amusement.

What's his response when you confront him - especially after this spate of recent mistakes? Has he ever been to a counsellor for what sounds dangerously close to an obsession? Think that would be what I'd demand next....and serious in-depth counselling that could lead to a real change in behaviour - not just a few sessions to get you off his back. Dunno why, but it makes me think of an alcoholic/drug addict who risks all in exchange for momentary pleasure.

Do you think he views this as a problem, and is there any desire/will (other than threats from you) to change his behaviour? So sorry you're going through this, btw. It stinks.

So sorry also you are going through this.

In the short term concentrate on you and your unborn child first. Medium to long term though this problem needs to be addressed properly.

I would have to agree with Earlybird - this sounds like internet porn addiction. All the indicators of same are there.

Is there any will on his part to address the problem through counselling?.

Hiya,

I have had a similar problem but not with the same frequency as you. Time to concentrate on baby and you and tackle this later but I also would worry that it is young girls he is looking at. Good luck xxx

My contractions have stopped so labour may well be days off yet. He acted completely normally this morning but did say he was sorry and that he would delete everything, i know that won't stop him though as he still has the internet!

i told him that he must sort himself out with councilling etc as im sure he is addicted and he admitted he probably was too. I think he will go to councilling and try to sort it out but i think i would have to arrange everything for him as he will probably just sweep all this under the carpet and forget it ever happened.

I had a awful dream last night about him and my dd, i am worried about what porn he watches and i think i should maybe have a look before he deletes stuff. I will be able to look tommorrow when he's at work, do you think this is a good idea or is it asking for trouble?

please dont read anything into the fact its teen stuff, i was looking for something on the net the other day (innocent stuff i hasten to add) and loads of porn sites popped up, loads of the were teen stuff, its obviously very common. you may as well say 'omg, your husband fancies females - your daughter is female!' . im sorry chandra, but i think your 3rd point was pretty ridiculous. if he has a problem with porn he needs help, it is absolutely not acceptable for your kids to be seeing it and i agree that you should not make any big decisions right now. but i really dont think you can accuse the man of being a risk to his daughter because he is looking at porn. if it was child porn fair enough but it wasnt. im fairly sure that wanting to look at young women rather than haggard old baggages is quite normal, otherwise there wouldnt be a market for young models in fhm and the like, they would all be skimpily dresed 40-something housewives wouldnt they?

is he not trying to tell you something..?? The reason he's be "careless" with allowing this porn stuff to be seen by you and your dd is he doing it on purpose iykwim..? How's your relationship otherwise..?

I agree with the others, I wouldn't do anything drastic atm. Get the birth out of the way and then take it from there. You are about to have a baby and need all the support you need BUT I would make him aware of your unhappiness.

Personally I would look at what he has been accessing but thats just imo...I would rather do it for back up and so I know how to aim my concerns iykwim. BUT being in your condition right now that may not be the best thing as you don't want to put baba at risk.

Good luck xx

ok. accidents or not - if your kids go and act out - or simulate something they have seen with another child and social services and the police get involved your dh will be in trouble.

porn should be locked away.

he is not responsible enough to do a simple task of closing this stuff down eofre he goes to bed. yes he is responsible enough to have a baby ?

i dont think so.

he's had his chance - i am not anti porn in the least and think that the argument about debasing women is bollocks - but i assure you afrer three or more incidents of my children accidentally coming accross it - i would ban it completely. i would buy and invest in a net nanny so it couldnt be accesed from home computer and do the same for the laptop - conditions of staying together.

its simply unacceptable that the innocence of childhood should be corrupted with such disregard.
shame on him.

get a netnanny programme and set it to stop such images from being used. dont tel him!

when he gets the hum because he cant find the porn he wants you can explain to him that until he is mature enough to "clean up after himself" then he cant see it.

as for it being "teen pussey" it is nothing to do wiht a perversion....well not THAT sort of perversion anyway, just the fact that men like the ide of young virgins i guess....a bit pathetic but nowt to worry yourself over.

Also, loads of it calls itself "teen" pussy, just as a selling point - it doesn't actually look as if these supposed "teenagers" are any younger than any of the other models.

BTW, netnanny idea sounds great - it does sound like the only way you can be confident that your children will not accidentally get exposed to totally unsuitable images.

i don't know what to advise you but just want to say all the best with what ever happens and v good luck with the labour xxxxxxxxxx