Would u leave?

[AKVS]

Hi, I'm torn and going crazy.
My partner and I have been together for about 10 years.
We have a 3 year old toddler and a house.
I dont work. I study part time and look after our child.
He works a lot but gets paid good and we live ok.
He never lets me worry about money.
He's helpful, dedicated partner and wonderful father.
but........
I'm very sensitive and emotional. He's not.
He doesnt like to talk, any problems - we cant talk about it aferwards or it will turn into the same argument.
He can be nasty, detached and aggresive - cant touch him or get into his personal space.
If slapped in the face. He would return the favour.
He's a good man. He is. Sadly in the last 6 months I have lost intrest in sex :/ I'm missing intimacy.
Its hard. Confused :/

Have you slapped him or he slapped you?

What do you mean by nasty and aggressive?

If slapped in the face? Why would you do thst?

I think OP was trying to illustrate that he would hit her?

AKVS I think what you are describing is called "WALKING ON EGG SHELLS" basically you are scared that whatever you do wrong he will look to retaliate. So you end up watching everything you do so as not to upset him.

This is called "Emotional abuse". simple as that.

The denying of intimacy is perhaps a passive aggressive thing with this sort of individual (not always the case). Often it's about intimacy on his terms.

Hope that helps in the decision making process.

I have slapped him in the past. Long story. He hit me back.
But I dont want to make him sound like a monster. He's not.
Too good to leave. Too bad to stay.
Its very hard to start life from the beggining.

Yes it is hard to start life from the beginning.
But on the other hand, can you imagine with this man and in this relationship for the rest of your life.
When DC has grown up and left home and it's just the 2 of you!?
Is that really what you want?
Easier to start a new life while you're younger.
So if you are really considering this, then I'd say, sooner rather than later.
The fact you have hit him already and he retaliated shows this relationship is past a certain stage already!
You deserve happiness and if you aren't happy then you need to resolve things or get out.

I'm not going to condone a woman hitting a man (after all I am a man who faced PA during my ex's issues) and the feminists amongst you may not totally agree

But - the physical pain of a man hitting a woman cannot compare to a woman hitting a man.

It's just pure physics. unless she has a bigger build and physic.

you need to correct yourself: HE IS NOT A GOOD MAN.

a good man would have walked away, maybe even left you (deservedly so) but a good man would not have hit you back.

There is a responsibility that comes with having/giving/getting power (physical, financial, emotional) - that those with more of it, do not use it against those with less.

You're having an affair with another man though aren't you, OP?

If its an abusive relationship its coming from ops side as well. it doesnt matter how much it hurts if a woman slaps a man, fact is its a line that shouldnt be crossed from either side and to do so shows a total lack of respect. op do you think he is worse because he retaliated?

it doesnt matter how much it hurts if a woman slaps a man, fact is its a line that shouldnt be crossed from either side and to do so shows a total lack of respect.

This. Gender is irrelevant, we have no knowledge of the relative forces of those who took part, what parts of the bodies were involved, what state of emotional distress each was in. Conclusions about what was the worse behaviour cannot be drawn.

If he is not a good man, she is not a good woman based on severely oversimplifying the situation. IMO this is not necessarily the case, what is the case is this is 'not a good relationship'.

I think arguing about who is in the wrong, is irrelevant

its a toxic relationship, and it needs to end. Or change drastically

I have slapped him in the past. Long story. He hit me back.

That is the downside of equality.

Nice try mathilda