Lovely mnetters, I made a post about my dh here a while ago..
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1808058-Lying-Dh-How-do-I-deal-with-him-this-time
Everything is pretty much as it was at the time of that thread 
DH and I talked it through with varying degrees of shoutyness/success. He still thinks he has done nothing wrong, just reconnecting with old friends/colleagues. He knows how upset it makes me, and offered -actually promised - to stop adding women he used to work with years and years ago/hasn't talked to for years. He then refriended me on fb, and I saw that he had added another girl (an ex-uni friend) after he'd made that promise.
He has all his reasons - it's just reconnecting, he doesn't even really talk to them or look at their pages, it's just awkward not to be friends with them if they have mutual friends with him. Sound plausible? He knows it upsets me but thinks it's me being paranoid and weird (maybe so, but I wouldn't be paranoid if he hadn't lied a lot in our relationship!)
I feel like a controlling freak, asking him not to add people. I said as much, but also said it upset me. He said, "Well if you hadn't stopped me adding people I would have a couple more (female) on there now" which I thought was really tactless.
What's really got to me is he knows how upset I am, and he's never once said that he would do anything to make me feel better/safer/more trusting. He agrees to stop adding people, but in a very grumpy way and I back down as I feel like a controlling witch.
However..
I can say with absolute confidence that he is not contacting any of these women in any suspicious way. Either no messages, or very short, innocent ones (and very few of those, even). He hasn't spent ages looking at their photos, or contacting them in any other way. All the women he added were who he said they were, and really did work with him. However.. the whole time he worked with them he hardly mentioned them, but tonight said he only added people on fb if he got on really well with. When I asked him to explain which they were, he got very flustered and said he got on very well with them (and had hidden it from me, clearly) but only in the confines of work.
So. Is all this just me being a headcase? Am I ever going to be able to trust him again? I just feel so broken, and stressed, I feel awful for saying he needs to change, I feel worse when he lies or changes grudgingly..
Don't know what I'm asking really He does, of course, have his good points but I'm just wondering if I'm not strong enough to be in this relationship.
Sorry for the length