DS has told me he is not sure whether he wants to go to friends house as he does not like his friends mum. Please advise.......

[dingledongle]

DS has been invited to his friends house to play and at first was not sure if he wanted to go. He has thought it over and decided to go however tonight he told me he was worried about something and wanted to talk. After half an hour I managed to determine it was he play date at his friends house. He told me he did not like his mum and sometimes the boys sibling. He did not give any specific reason (being told off for example) and I am wondering what to do.

He is five and has only been to the child's house once before without me. DS was very happy when he went to bed and we agreed to decide tomorrow what to do as the play date is on Friday.

Just wondered what others think and if they have had anything similar!

Yes dd1 was like this. I just tended to invite dc to our house as she really got in a bit of a state going to other's houses, at aged 5.

I think you should listen to what he wants to do, especially if he's saying he doesn't like the mum. He may not be able to explain why but it might be worth asking him to give you an example of what she does to make him feel like sad.

My dd was much more confident by about 7. She's 22 now and very sociable.

I'd listen to his concerns.

Listen out for any reasons he may give.

Is he OK when he goes to other peoples houses?

How was he when he came back from this boys house last time?

Thanks excuse typos that is really good to hear.

I spent over half an hour trying to help him explain how he felt, it did not seem to be anything that she had done just a general feeling and he did not seem to be able to be more specific as I tried to ask if she had told him off etc. I will see how he feels in the morning and am happy to go with what he wants.

I agree with the other posters: listen to his concerns; have the friend over to yours; don't force him to go to theirs.

ds wasn't very keen on going to one friend's house. Years later I discovered that mum-of-friend was a bit shouty/tell-y off-y and had a weird habit of locking the children in the garden and not letting them back in again (they had to pee in the garden too). She was nice enough - just liked having her own time and believed strongly in fresh air for children. However, it was a bit of a culture shock for ds, who didn't like to spend time there.

He probably can't verbalise it!
Listen to him, and don't send him if he doesn't want to go.
There'll be other playdates.

Agree sconset this is why I spent time with him talking it through!

Thanks for your thoughts, I think he is it unable to put it in words what it is he is unhappy with.

I have been thinking about it and I will see what he says in the morning (he was very tired tonight) and go with what he says.

Tbh it is supposed to be fun I would hate to think he was there worried and not having a good time.

I suspect I will cancel as this seems the best way forward unless he is really really keen when he gets up.....