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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend needs support and she's surrounded by tactless people!!!

6 replies

GetStuffezd · 27/08/2013 20:24

My best friend has just had a miscarriage. She was 43 and in the past has been a heavy drinker (not touched a drop while pregnant though) so was quite pragmatic and aware the outcome might not be good. When she miscarried a couple of days ago she seemed to be coping fine but today has been the inevitable blow out. She's a had a few drinks with a friend and is now very weepy. Her fiancé, rather than comforting her, has gone ballistic at her for drinking.

To top it off, another of her friends of a similar age is pregnant. Her partner is a disgusting, unfaithful, physically violent, financial leech. (I've posted about him on here - brought a tramp home one night to carry on drinking into the small hours) He has just popped round her house to show her designs for the baby's bedroom. Brilliant.

My poor friend has rung me in tears. She's got nobody to talk to, no support and I feel so bloody cross. She's one of those people who does EVERYTHING for everyone - fucks sake, she was trying to get a dinner in the oven while on the phone crying to me. I have no money and cannot afford to make the trip home. Her fiancé won't "let" her come up for a visit with me because he doesn't like me. (He read her messages, including ones where I was telling her she didn't need to put up with his XYZ.)

Sorry for the rant. It's just SO unfair.

OP posts:
lilithtime · 27/08/2013 21:05

Your poor friend! :( People are shit sometimes, they really are. A mc hurts so much, I'm not surprised she's had a drink and I don't blame you for being upset on her behalf.

She does have a lovely friend in you though. Just be there, tis all you can do.

GetStuffezd · 27/08/2013 21:12

Thank you, lilithtime.
I just needed to get it out - it's so frustrating!! We are the kind of friends that can be entirely open and honest about everything as neither of us has had an easy ride of things, and we've both made some bad choices in our lives. I miss her, and I hate that her fiancé isn't supporting her, and seems to not want me to either!

OP posts:
CharityFunDay · 27/08/2013 21:22

Sorry, but ... her fiancé won't "let her" see you??

GetStuffezd · 27/08/2013 21:37

Perhaps the wrong choice of word. She works bloody hard in her job for a pittance. He earns approx. 4 times as much. Rather than "forbidding" her from coming, he simply won't make it financially possible.

I have quite strong feelings about him and have made these clear to her, but we know each other suitably well to know that we will both let each other make our own mistakes but always be there to pick up the pieces when needed. It's shit though. He has enabled her to live in a nice house with decent food on the table, which she's never had, but she's not happy. He is a chronic gamer and an addict to some pretty unpleasant porn, which he tries to re-enact despite her being clearly unhappy. But then on the surface he's an affable, intelligent bloke.

I feel like I'm saying too much. I know she's not on MN but I feel a bit disloyal. Sad

OP posts:
CharityFunDay · 27/08/2013 21:39

Rather than "forbidding" her from coming, he simply won't make it financially possible.

Oh, well that's all right then.

[hmmm]

GetStuffezd · 27/08/2013 21:45

I didn't say it was ok! I know perfectly well it's not ok!

OP posts:
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