abusive ?

[mummy176]

i have had a number of people telling me that i am in a abusive relationship .
i am new to this and may ramble so pleas bear with me .
i was doing some washing this morning and my bf told me i do too much washing and he cant understand y HE has no clean washing . this is baring in mind i have 2 children as well . he continues telling me hes going to refuse to top up the electric and we r about to run out (we r on pay as u go) and goes to the bed room to wach telly . he stays there for 2 hours and when he comes down he sits at the computer ignoring me . when he avenchaly speaks to me its as if nothing has ever happened . so i keep quiet and just carry on with my day . .. i never leve the house because he keeps all the money . and i have to ask when i want it, to wich the response is normally we dont have it . bt he spend all his time in the pub with his friends . . i am living in his house i keep asking to be put on the tenancy and he keeps up making up exuses to put it off . we have been together 7 years. and i cant see a way out ......

Abusive? Yes. Get out. There will be a way, unless you want to spend the next 7 years like this. Do you have anyone in rl you can talk to?

Does this ring any bells?

www.uic.edu/depts/owa/power_control-wheel.html

i have 2 friends that pointed it out . nether of wich are in a position to help . and like i sead i live in his house with awer 2 kids. he has sead a cupple of times if i dont like it leve but he knows i cant . i have no were i can go. hes told me that he would never let me take the kids .. he worys me because he talks about them like possessions he says we have 2 so i can have the boy and you can have the girl . there my babys and i will not leve them with him

Have you looked at Women's Aid at all?

hi huni ive been in violent relationships for the past 4 years and when your doing everything because they cant be bothered thats controlive of them and thats classed as abusewalk away while you can babe trust me i walked away in my first violent relationship after he almost killed me for the second time! xx

Get your benefits put into your name and refuse to give it to him.

Speak to WA, gather yourself, documents and your DC and get to a shelter with WA help.

Failing that present yourself at the council housing dept and tell them you're fleeing abuse.

The fact you don't have tenancy does help you in some way.

This 'man' won't get any better, only ever worse, and your children will grow up thinking that this is normal life and go on to copy it.

That can't be allowed to happen!

What he's doing is actually boringly pathetic and totally unoriginal.

They all say that, and never in any way shape or form is it right.

Call WA and speak to them about helping get you and your family out. They won't make you leave either of your children.

thank you every one for your help. i have been to the sochel services and they r helping me due to a thret he made to my son . looking forward to having a life x

Well done 176. Are you feeling ok? Do you feel safe?

Look after yourself and keep talking to people, either on here or elsewhere.