Snoring becoming a big problem.

[mrsmindcontrol]

It sounds so petty but its becoming a real issue in our relationship.
DP & I have been together 2 years. He's always snored & until recently I've been able to cope with it, despite being a very light sleeper, through ear plugs & making sure I'm knackered to the point of exhaustion before bed.

However, the last couple of weeks have been awful. I'm not sure if his snoring has got worse or I'm going through a spell of stress related anxiety (we're due to be moving to a different town in a month or so). He has ended up spending most nights on the sofa which is basically shit for our relationship. He, in particular, feels very down about it & says he's failing our relationship.

What can we do? In the long term he needs to lose weight (we both do). Ideally he needs to lose 4 stone or so but neither of us have the willpower.

Any hints or tips? I'm using those moldable Zen plug ear plugs but they don't block out the snoring completely. I suspect I need to relax more about it but I'm a highly strung person & as soon as his snoring wakes me, my anxiety levels start to peak & that's my chance of dropping off out the window.

I'm desperate now

Poor you! Being awake every night is like torture for some.

My last relationship was with a real foghorn! I had sleep problems and he fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow and then shuck the rafters. His snoring was waking him up during the night to the point where he felt knackered the morning after.

Snoring although common can still be a medical problem - which in some needs a medical treatment.

We went to the G.P to discuss what could be done. They sleep tested him and worked out that the origin of his snoring was in the throat (there are nose snorers too). There are a variety of methods for treating both sets of snoring. It is better to approach a doctor than to try to buy over-the- counter stuff (which is largely unreliable). He opted for a laser re-shape of his soft palate (which had been flapping like a good un during the night). That worked nicely for him.

Losing weight does help with some people (plus it has other health benefits), but is not the only cause of snoring.

Sounds like your resolution of using earplugs is not satisfactory to you. Snoring can also have psychological affects on the snorer - although when they are asleep they cannot control the level of noise they make.

I would suggest a G.P visit - if nothing else; just to understand snoring more.

Are you able to grab 40 winks at different times as a temporary measure?

Best of Luck

My husband rattles the walls and I have to have perfect silence to sleep. It used to be a real issue because I'm lucky to have the room for my own bedroom and I had no issues of bed hopping and he hated me leaving the bed.

Now it isn't. I need to sleep or I'm hell to be around the next day which was more of an issue. Funnily enough, it took one night of me disturbing him that sorted out the separate bed thing

If it's really making him miserable then obviously losing weight is the first step. If we're overweight and have fat around our neck.. our throats cave in when relaxed with the weight of it.. causing snoring. Then there's sleep apnoea which stops you sleeping properly.

See the doctor if he wants to sort it out.. but you maybe both have to come to terms of putting some real work in to fix it, rather than looking for a quick fix.

Def see a doc and get him losing weight. I haven't slept properly since meeting H, he lost a stone (4 more to go) and had an op last year which has reduced the snores to odd gurgles and softer snuffling - which still wake me (even with earplugs in) but better than nothing. Before that we spent years trying mouthpieces, earplugs, seperate rooms etc. Also sleeping on his side helps, he rolls onto his back and starts the noises, so we are looking at ways to keep him on his side. Hypnotherapy did work for a little while with that actually.

Thank you both for your replies. I am always tempted to grab a nap if I can, Joh, however, by doing that I'm not drop dead exhausted come bed time so I have even greater trouble falling asleep. Vicious cycle really.

He's never been to a dr about it as I suspect he thinks he'll be told to come back when he's lost weight. He has huge issues with losing weight- has an appalling diet which has vastly improved since we've been together although I suspect when we're apart during the day, he combats the tiredness caused by broken sleep with endless chocolate, crisps & coffee.

I will put some gentle pressure on him to see the GP. It's hard at the moment as he's gone into a bit of a sulk over his perceived failure to achieve a 'normal relationship' over the last couple of weeks.

I'm almost at the stage of having a largely sleepless night myself tonight in an attempt to boost his ego a bit.

That's interesting, Clever, that your husband had treatment despite being overweight. I think DP is scared to be told that there is nothing that can be done until he loses weight.

Ok don't laugh

Do go to the gp

Do both go on a sensible eating plan to loose some weight

Do us Vicks obas oil sleep right strips to keep the the nasal passages open

And get him singing!!!! Honestly it's strengths the diafram and throat and helps guard against snoring

With regard to preventing sleeping on his back if he wares pj sow a tennis ball into the back of his shirt it will be uncomfortable to lay on his back and will keep him on his side!

Hth

God,I sympathise with you! in our relationship it is my wife who snores terribly. I'm either forever poking her (in a stop snoring way not biblcal sense) I keep having to get up and go downstairs for a fag, drink etc hoping it stops. I think she probably has sleep apnoea (like our middle son who lives with his partner thank god othr wise I would get it in stereo.

Google Butekyo technique and see if that might help. The book, Close your mouth by Dr McKeowan on Amazon is good.

dh had an operation for a deviated septum (in his nose) and also lost weight and both helped his snoring a lot.

I got ear plugs from here: www.britishsnoring.co.uk/ - I now no longer need to wear them