Sex - or lack thereof while pregnant

[Yankeedoodlenic]

Hello fellow MN users.

I am currently starting my 26t week of pregnancy. I am feeling really great - healthy, happy & overall (so far) am finding pregnancy easy & enjoyable. I feel so grateful for this as I know plenty of women who have had the exact opposite. However, DP & I haven't had sex since I was 11 weeks!

At 11 weeks we had sex - I didn't enjoy it too much as my cervix was very sensitive and it was a bit uncomfortable. Immediately after sex I noticed a slight pink colour on the toilet roll but went to bed as I knew this was fairly straightforward. Well the next morning when I woke up there was enough blood to make me worried - this being our first pregnancy I was so scared but was assured by a GP that I was ok and had my 12 week scan a few days later in which every was fine.

As I said before my pregnancy has since proceeded hitch free and easy. But my DP is terrified to have sex with me. Sex has never been a big importance to us (we'd often go weeks w/o having it). We have had oral sex once in the last 14/15 weeks but I am just worried that we are going to end up going such a long time without. I do ask him regularly if he is OK and often suggest we should try to have sex but he just says how scared he is and that he doesn't want to. I even tried to ask him if he was masturbating to make sure he was at least sorting himself out - but of course he got super embarrassed and avoided the question.

As I'm getting bigger I am less and less interested and I'm just worried we'll end up not having it until after the baby is born - and then who knows how long that could be! I've always liked oral sex or foreplay as much as the actual act but I'm just too shy to come straight out and ask him to do that.

I guess I just want to know that we aren't the only couple that this has happened to. He has been away all weekend and my plan was to try and get something started tonight when he gets home.

If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it or if anyone wants to share their stories about having sex while pregnant.

Of course, you're not the only couple. This is almost an exact copy of my pregnancy. Sex at 12 weeks leads to bleed, then my DH is too scared to have sex with me. By week 32 when I'm guessing my DH would be gagging for it, I was not in the mood and nearly wet myself if we attempted. I felt less and less sexy as the weeks went by.

After the c-section healed and we finally got some sleep we got out sex drive back. Dont worry, - as my DH said, "hey, we are having a baby together. That's the only physical expression of love we need for a while". So long as you can cuddle and hold hands and talk together excitedly about the baby, you'll get it back on track.

Congratulations on the baby by the way!

It's perfectly normal for sex to tail off during pregnancy. The thing I would be working on if I were you would be the embarrassment and reluctance to talk openly with one another about it.

I'm 28 weeks and dh won't do the deed as he just says it feels wrong, it was the same when pregnant with ds1 and we got back to normal after.

Tbh everyone I know is the same so I wouldn't worry too much. I miss dh though and I figure as long as I tell him etc then he still feels ok.

We're a bit the other way round now, DP has no problem with sex during pregnancy (this is our second so he's over the fear) but we haven't for about 3 months! I just have no interest or libido, and the couple of times we've tried I've got a bit tearful so we've stopped. DP has been incredibly patient and good, but I'm now 31 weeks and don't see it happening, so I am a bit worried for our relationship/intimacy. Sort of glad we aren't the only ones not DTD though...

i am 16 weeks into 2nd pregnancy. have/had hyperemsis in both pregnancies so didn't have sex at all in first pg as was sick up till about 20 weeks and felt so rough for rest if pg. same this time round re sex.
tbh, it was best all round as pregnancy really doesn't suit me. we were back to normal sex wise within 6 weeks of birth. we still cuddled and kissed and curled up during pg. so wasn't that bad.
dont beat your self up about it. its a short period of time in the grand scheme of things!

OP you've just described my sex/pregnancy experience exactly! I'm 22 weeks and in the same boat since sex at 11 weeks. I'm also worrying a lot about it but it seems to be pretty normal.

Sex during pregnancy and after birth (ie roughly while still breastfeeding) doesn't have a 'norm' I don't think. Some people seem to do it more, some less, some none at all.

I wouldn't worry about it for this period, but just talk so you know how each other feels.

If you're both comfortable with not having sex then fine - no one else will check up on you

We haven't had sex since I was about 15 weeks pg. DS arrived 3 weeks ago, we're now thinking about it again, but unlikely to do anything anytime soon because DS so demanding, also had an episiotomy which needs to heal properly first.

Perfectly normal (I hope!) my DH is scared too as I had bleeding at 9 weeks and tbh my sex drive is zero and it was exactly the same with DS1 no sex for pretty much the whole 9 months. Try and be intimate in other ways if you can but it really is normal. Don't put pressure on yourself, it's just an adjustment of priorities!