Not taking his surname ...

[Justconfused]

I am furious. My cheating husband has told me that the fact that I did not take his surname when I married him was one of the reasons he felt I did not respect him ... So he cheated on me !!! Am I losing the plot ? He has given me so reasons for his infidelity now I could scream

Utter rubbish. Him being a cheater with low morals is the reason why he cheated on you. And it makes it worse, not better, that he is attempting to blame you in this way. You're right to be furious.

I cannot believe he came out with it. He has always been a bit of a chauvinist to be honest but his justifications for his infidelity really take the biscuit. He keeps moaning on that I never respected him .. I did .. The name change thing seems completely immaterial

What a load of crap. He has behaved appallingly and he is trying to blame you for his actions/blame as many things as he can without admitting to himself and you what a tosser he is.

You aren't losing the plot - please remember that when he's spouting his bullshit

It's totally nonsensical. He's grasping at straws

Utter bollocks. Utter bastard.

You are not losing the plot, that is a ridiculous excuse.

Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel.

In some kind of half crazed moment I questionned myself on this - thank you for your feedback. He wants us to have marriage counselling - i just don't want to at the moment as I think he is going to come out with such bs in the sessions I would scream. Also I am so worried that the counsellor would take his side .. Does that happen - how can they stay impartial ?

yes couples counsellors do/or can take one side.
i went with my dp started going 6 wks before i gave birth and the male counsellor suggested that if dp took me out a bit more, or showed me more attention would i be happier then?
This was the response from this "counsellor" when i told him i was afraid of my dp and told him all the things that made me that way.......
dp said all i wanted him to do was work all the hours god sends and then nagged him to clean out presses. Not general house cleaning you will note - cleaning out presses. How extraordinary (have just learned that expression on another thread!!). The counsellor i could see - genuinely sympathised with dp and the awful life he had - practically 'women eh'!! So obviously this reinforcement of his behaviour made everything a whole lot worse -in so many way...
I also kepy my own name when we eventually married and it drove him nuts.
So i dont know how they can stay impartial was so disolussioned afer that experience.
ps i discovered after that this 'counsellor' was a car sales man my trade and this was something he learned on the side. i think he may even have collected milk tokens to get this cert........