"Did you mean to be so rude?"

[LadyMud]

A friend is having a hard time with a Queen Bee type at church, and wants to distance herself from this woman.

The Mumsnet classic "Did you mean to be so rude?" will be very useful, and I've suggested "Do you actually need to know that, or are you just being nosy?".

Any other suggestions I can pass on? Thank you!

i love the "how extraordinary" reply........i think thats genius......

I find a frown, then a shocked face with 'Did I hear that right?' works well.

I also find, if there's an audience, that saying 'I presume you think that's funny, but I find it quite offensive', helps other be clear that this is not friendly teasing or banter.

"Fuck the fuck off".

Or tell her to sort it out constructively and not with barbs.

I think it's better to just be aggressive than passive aggressive.

Itreid LOLlll!!

ALittleStranger, that's my kind of response not my friend's.
But you make a good point about being straightforward, rather than passive-aggressive or sarcastic. No misunderstandings that way.

I have several useful phrases
What a funny thing to say!
Oh, do you think so?
What a strange question - with a look
I wasn't canvassing for opinions.

Treating a sly snark as a compliment can be good - eg bitchface says gosh that skirt is very individual isn't it - say Yes, it's lovely isn't it with a big smile. Bitchface then can't say no it's horrible without looking a twat.

Useful phrase from MN specifically - 'That doesn't work for me'