How would you deal with this.

[Bluedolphin1971]

First of all apologies if I'm posting this in the wrong place.

I have a problem with one of my Sister in Laws. She is a compulsive liar, and it isn't just little lies, they can be great big lies. Everyone in the family knows she is a compulsive liar, but no one says anything to her to keep the peace. She is the kind of person where if you did pull her up for something, she would make a big song and dance about it.

I have recently found out she said something about my husband and I'm absolutely fuming. basically she told my brother in law (not the one she is married to) that she was at my house, was out in the garden but had to leave because she felt uncomfortable because my husband was perving her!!!!!WTF.

My brother on law came to see me, asked where my husband was, I explained he was at golf, he asked when he went to golf, I replied he left straight from work and hadn't been home since he left for work at 7am! Then he told me what my SIL said.

I am so angry my SIL hasn't been at my home for weeks, and my husband certainly wouldn't be perving her.

I haven't told my husband about this, I think he would be so angry at being accused of this.

I am in a complete turn moil because I really feel she has went too far this time. If I do say something to her, she will either deny she said it (which will then create problems in itself because she will then be making out my other brother in law is lying) OR she will just say she was only kidding on, it was all a joke, but I personally don't think this is something you should be kidding on about.

Do you think I am making a big deal out of it, should I just laugh it off?

When your BIL came round & started asking where your husband was, was he intending to see your husband & 'have it out with him' sort of thing. Did he believe SIL?

I would not ignore this, no.

Also you do need to talk to your husband about it, especially if it will cause problems for him within the family.

the BIL who came round was not her husband. it was my husbands other brother (the one who she told the story to that came round). He said he came round to tell him what she said.
So obviously he realised she was telling lies when I advised him my husband hadn't been at home all day, and my SIL hadn't been at my hme for weeks.

It won't cause problems for him in the family except maybe his brother who is married this SIL (and that's if she tells him).

All the family will know that this is complete lies especially now my other BIL knows husband wasn't at home.

I wouldn't be ignoring this either!! And it's not the kind of thing you joke about. And who else has she told that your DH is perving her???

mexicanHat that is exactly what I have been thinking.

Let her sing! Let her dance!

Both of you and the BIL she spoke to should go round to her house when she and her husband are in and confront her over this. God knows what her problem is; she sounds like an attention seeker.

She sounds to me as though she was trying to start a little chat with her BIL along the lines of "well I don't blame him for perving; you're really pretty" kind of thing.

I don't know what she's up to ImperialBlether.

Her lies are getting ridiculous. This is the last straw for me. I will completely wash my hands of her.

She was lying.
If you, your husband and others agree on that that it the most important thing, I think.
I am thinking she might have a mental illness. Possibly a personality disorder.
She is sick and you will not change her behavior no matter what you do.
Save yourself the trip to her house as it will lead to agression and more lies.
You could maybe start thinking on how to protect yourself from this member of family.
And noone can tell you how far you would want to go there.

bab8. I agree I do think she must have some sort of mental illness. She even accused my MIL (behind her back) of trying to push her down the stairs.

Perhaps if the whole family knows what she is like, an 'intervention' of some kind might be in order, where you all make it clear to her that this nonsense has to stop. She can't shout down everyone in the room all telling her the same thing. A united front could work wonders...I really don't think you should let this one slide.

This cannot be ignored. If it was a stupid harmless white lie then I'd say just laugh at her and ignore but this isn't, it's a big black wicked lie which could have had serious consequences.
I would tell dh, then I'd have it out with her and tell her she is no longer welcome anywhere near me and my family. And I'd make sure she and everyone else knew why! No way would I allow my dh to be accused of something like this and not fight his corner for him.

You must tell your husband. If you don't and it comes out then he will be annoyed it was kept from him.

Both your husband and his brother must speak with the brother married to this woman. Non confrontational, just explain what happened and that you are all worried for his wife. What she did was outrageous but if she does have a mental illness then she needs help, not everyone rounding on her.

A letter may be more appropriate. The brother married to her will be aware she lies unless he is completely duped, but I doubt it.

It would be nice for everyone if this woman was part of the family but she wrecking it by telling these lies and there has to be a reason for it.