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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Moody cow, angry and cry alot!!!!

2 replies

whatsthestoryinbalamorytoday · 16/06/2006 09:48

We always agreed that it would be best for our dd for me to stay at home. My dh took a paycut from his job because he didn't like it anymore. I agreed because I was scared he'd just walk out one day-it had got that bad. In actual fact, it was only that bad because he stupidly told everyone he was going to leave before he'd actually secured a new job, so when one came along we had to take it. Now we can't cope financially and to top it all off, he's now said he doesn't like his new job either. Any job he's interested in is of a lower wage and he said the other day that he can't cope with the responsibility of management.
I'm now going back to work myself but the childcare costs are so high that I'll be bringing home £10 a day after the fees.
I'm so stressed but can't talk to dh about it because it will depress him that I'm blaming him for all this. Instead I'm always really snappy and moody with him-the words just come out before I can stop them!!!! I feel really resentful that we're in this mess-wouldn't mind so much if he could stick to his damn job and bring in the money!!!! He always says he doesn't know why I'm so angry all the time but I can't say anything because he's insecure as it is and it would really knock his confidence. Then he'd definately not be able to get a new job. I just feel so angry!!!! Angry

OP posts:
Beetroot · 16/06/2006 09:51

oh gawd, you are both in a bit of a mess and lashing out aren't you.

Can you both try and be aclm adn discuss what would be best for both of you? How it could wrk? Could he go part time ad take some of the child care but still be paid a good wage?

What do you do?

quanglewangle · 16/06/2006 09:57

I feel for both of you. Management isn't for everyone but it is one of the skills that make you feel inadequate if it isn't your thing. OK to be lousy at some things, people even brag about it (I am lousy at maths ho! ho!, for example) but being less than brilliant at management is a no no.

So his self-esteem may be taking a battering, if only from himself. I don't know what to advise you as I would react just the same, it is a natural reaction. Could he retrain - give himself a new goal, something to achieve, and something that suits his personality a bit better?

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