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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Controlling friendship :(

4 replies

Sarahjess26 · 21/08/2013 21:24

Ok here goes......Ive been friends with a girl for over 6 years now and it has all come to a head. She copies me in every way, my hair (the same hairdresser), same hair colour, now she wears false eyelashes (applied at the same beauty salon), wears the same clothes etc etc.....now I know all this sounds pretty petty but one time she even walked in on me with a man that I was dating saying she wanted to "go home and was bored" I went to the bathroom and came back and they were having sex :-O. Needless to say I stopped dating him! Anyway, I enrolled on a course at college in may to start in September, I applied for a career break in work (wasn't easy) and now I've been accepted....shock horror, a few weeks ago she decided she was going to do the same thing and do the same course!! Now here's where it gets tricky, I couldn't say anything as we were going away to a music festival and I'd paid lots of money for it so didn't want to rock the boat....so a few days before the festival, I get struck down with a bad water infection, my family are worried that I'm going to be stuck in a field for 3 days, dirty toilets etc etc....I tell her I'm going to have to take it easy and she kicks off at me calling me a 'bad friend' and she's 'told her counsellor about me' ! Wtf! Anyway, we had a huge heated row, all my feelings over the past year came to surface and I just lost it. I told her the friendships over and I don't want her in my life, told her to get her own identity. So, when she comes back from said festival I attempt contact as she has some of my things still....no response. I keep trying over several days....nothing. Next thing I have a police man at my door accusing me of assault and telling me I should back down as she has enrolled first on the course! She hasn't even enrolled yet just submitted an application.....I have no idea why she wants to drag this out and ruin my life?? Yes we are no longer friends but involving the police and fabricating stories is just in another league, and to be honest, I'm terrified of starting my course now in September because what else is she capable of??

This is a very condensed version of events, lots more has happened, she doesn't have any other friends, she pulls a face when she's not the centre of attention and she used to make me get changed if we were going out and she thought I looked more dressed up than her? She used to lean on me very heavily and put me down a lot and say my mum/partner is controlling.....I'm sorry I just don't know what to do, I feel like jacking this course in to be honest because I can't sit there with her eyes burning into me for a year :(

OP posts:
bellablot · 21/08/2013 21:30

Grow a pair, stick at the course and burn a hole in the back of her head. You've done nothing wrong, have some confidence and don't ever back down!

There's obviously something wrong with her emotionally so accept it and move on but don't stop your life because of it.

And the sex with boy thing at toilet break, surely this was an indicator of a bad penny, you should have got rid of her then!

Sarahjess26 · 22/08/2013 00:11

Fair enough, I've spoke to the college about it so feel better about things already. Yeh I let a lot go and everyone's different, she hasn't got any other friends and relied on me a lot. I wasn't really into the guy but nevertheless it was mega shitty. As you so delicately put ill 'grow a pair'.....

OP posts:
pictish · 22/08/2013 00:17

That's good advice right there, Burn a hole right back. She's got deep problems and a nasty streak and that's not your fault!
Let he create if she wants. Carrying on with the course is exactly what you should do.

Sarahjess26 · 22/08/2013 01:08

Thanks guys :) that's exactly what the college said x

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