Daydreamdolly 10.5 months on from husband leaving for other woman

[DaydreamDolly]

Well all, I thought it was time I updated my position, it may give others in similar situations some comfort. Sorry I can't find my original thread which was started 7th October 2012, the night my H told me he was leaving me, and our two young DD's for a woman he'd been having an affair with for the past 2 years.
I received some amazing support and advice that truly helped me through the darkest of times. And it was dark. I don't think it could have got any darker.
The first 3 months were horrendous. He moved in with the OW immediately and started taking my DD's (3 and 6months at the time of the split) to stay with them. This was a struggle and I must admit I went out a lot got very drunk and often did things I would have regretted, had I been in my right mind. As t was, I didn't feel anything for a long time.
Anti depressants were prescribed, counselling was undertaken, and 'project new better life' was launched.
And now? God I am so happy. I am free of a mysogynistic, narcissistic control freak of a husband, my girls are growing up happy and healthy, and I have a lovely new man in my life who has made me see what I've been missing all these years.
If I didn't have such contempt for my ex and the OW I would thank them profusely.
So, to anyone else in this position, it may not feel like it right now, but you will survive, and not only that, you will live better. This is my ultimate revenge. Living well.
And to all those who supported me on my original thread, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your friendship and kindness.
Daydream.

[DaydreamDolly]

Onmyown I can't om you either - perhaps it's me

[DaydreamDolly]

pm

[GampyWabbit]

I remember your thread and it's so great to hear you've come so far and things are going well.

[Whatnext074]

Thank you for your inspiring post. I am 6.5 weeks on from my H leaving me for OW and my world (and my mind) has fallen apart. I am having those dark times too. Updates like yours do help as when you are in it, you cannot see better days.

I wish you and your DDs all the happiness in the world.

[killpeppa]

you have made a tiring, stressful and hard day a bit brighter.

well done. glad your so happy,
I often wonder what I I've been missing

[LovesBeingHereAgain]

Well done op, what a lot you've been through in less than a year.

And thank you for tge update, it's nice you can help like others helped you.

[ThehighcostofLying]

Thankyou DD for posting, brought on hot, wet tears at my own horrible current situation, but I will take inspiration from your strength and keep looking forward not back.

[YoniMatopoeia]

I remember your original thread. So glad to hear your good news. Thank you for the update :) .

[moonfacebaby]

Lovely to hear how well you are doing....

I'm much the same - in the processor divorcing my cheating exH after his affair last year. 2 DD's - 8 & 2.

I'm much happier - amazing new man of 11 months who like yours, has made me realise what I had been missing out on for years too.

Kids are fine & life is ticking along nicely. There were times that were so hideous & I am so proud of the strength I've discovered within myself.

Even if i hadn't met my new DP, I still think I'd be much happier - exH is still the victim in all of this (according to him) - such a weak, self-absorbed coward & I find I either feel pity or just amazement when the usual bollocks comes out of his mouth...

[moonfacebaby]

In the process of divorcing - not processor!

[MistressDeeCee]

I keep re-reading this thread. Its so inspirational. Good for you OP

I spent years with a narcissistic, bullying man who of course, was oh so charming to everyone else that when we split, I was the 'bad guy'. I recall 2 so-called friends tripping over themselves to be with him. I never ever thought I'd get through the shattering of a relationship with a man I took vows with and thought I would be for life. He sold me a lie. I felt physically sick, for ages.

Well - the OW got him. Good luck to her. I eventually focused on all that would make me & my DDs happy. & in 2010 met my lovely DP (& I'd sworn I'd never go near a man again..). My DDs have grown up into lovely young women and now I have more time for me/us.

I look back to the dark days and it feels surreal. Hard to believe that was me. Mourning myself into illness over a cheat. We get though these things eventually, and thank god for it. Life's too short. A life sentence with an untrustworthy misogynist? - no thanks.

Think I'll re-read thread once more..! & well done to all those who've come through the dark times, and give hope to others. I love how strong women can be in the face of adversity. & (well almost) sorry for all the OWs who see forming a relationship with a cheat as an enhancement to their lives.

[whostolethesocks]

I'm another one who has come through the other side having gone through some really dark times. ExH started affair in 2010 (maybe earlier - who knows?!). I got confirmation in Feb 2011. We carried on with our marriage (he told me he'd finished the affair - LOL) until I found out it was still going on and I asked him to leave in September last year. We are now divorced, sold the marital home and I have my own house and new partner. Things are still tough at times and it is very difficult to trust again but at least I don't have to live with a controlling, self-obsessed bully anymore.

[killpeppa]

mistress- mine is the same, 'oh so charming'
all my family are behind me and supporting my decision to leave as they see the control and the change in myself.
all his family think I'm being to quick to leave ( he cheated in June & I found out in august)

I have my housing executive app today-so scared, so worried, but so relieved.

all these story's are so encouraging

[AnyFuckersfrogslegs35]

I remember your original thread Dolly.
It's lovely to hear how far you've came and how well you're doing now

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Fabulous update! you are doing so well and sound strong and happy .

[Poogate]

I remember your posts, Dolly, I felt so very sorry for you. I'm sooooo happy to see your fantastic update xx