Is tradition important....

[CosmicG]

Should a couple stay together and work on their marriage because of tradition? What if the couple are in an unhealthy/ abusive relationship? should they still stick together because of traditional values? What are your views?

No, of course they shouldn't. Next!

What tradition/s did you have in mind?

Not that I can think of anything that would justify staying in an abusive relationship.

Absolutely not.

No.

No one should ever do anything because of tradition.

No, and you know it.

I come from a traditional background, and no one has even suggested I shouldn't have left exH because of dv.
The local v. traditional priest only asked if there was no way to sort it before I told him why.

Respect for eachother should be at the forefront of traditional values.

No.

No, absolutely not.

No, not to me, but I know an awful lot of people in dead marriages who stay for reasons of religion and shame. Live in NI, it's more traditional here generally.

my family are very traditional and they have stayed in a dead marriage for years. Growing up, myself & my brothers watched and listened to them shout abuse eachother.
They have no respect for eachother. This had a very negative affect on our upbringing. I left home years ago and i got married to someone and we had a very unhealthy relationship too. We had a traditional wedding and we are now seperated as i did not want my DS growing up in an environment, the same as what I had, with my parents. However, my parents are not happy about us seperating even though they know of the dv. my mother (who i believe to be narcissistic), emotionaly blackmailed me by saying, that if i repeat the same mistake again(marrying the wrong guy and then divorcing), that they would turn their back on me and make sure my relatives do the same.

my exhusband does not agree with what my mother says but he does think that my parents are right to feel upset about us seperating because tradition is there for a reason to keep us on the right moral track- but if i point out to him, that our marriage was abusive, he denies that and points the finger at me to say that i was abusing him- which i don' tdispute because i think we both disrespected eachother. But what if the marriage was not one that involved dv- would tradition be an important reason then to work on your marriage and stay together. I am still of the opinion that it isn't.

No, absolutely not. The older generation of my family are much the same and view marriage as forever, no matter what. My Grandad actually stopped speaking to his own sister for a while when she divorced her husband for DV.

Tradition is born out of history and times are have changed. For marriage in particular, time has changed for the better so that we do have a way to end unhappy marriages and not be forced to live out our one, short life in misery. It's a good thing

I'm pretty traditional, I believe everyone should try everything to make their marriage work before throwing in the towel.

Abusive relationships are def an exception. If DP is acting that way he's already broken his vows and left the marriage. There's no respect there.