Help major panic over kiss!!

[Rocklover]

Hi, I have posted before about my marriage probs and thinks are going ok for now. DH and I have moved in with my parents for the time being (nightmare), but DH is much more relaxed as we don't have the financial burdens we did have (apart from my back treatment). He is being really lovely, letting me buy clothes, have my hair done etc (I currently don't work, although need to very soon). We hardly even argue anymore! So what's the problem? I hear you cry, well we haven't slept together since Feb at least (my choice), but today DH kissed me passionately as he misses it so much...and I hated it. I don't hate him, but I would prefer he doesn't touch me, I'm worried that I feel more like he is a friend than my husband. I also know that I can still be attracted to other men and this makes me even more worried. Will the feelings I used to have ever come back.

Very upset lady here!

Is your DH the one with the little hygiene problem?

Well, he cant be that loathsome - im guessing you must have found him attractive once.

So, i would assume there are underlying issues for you here. Particularly regarding emotions vs sex.

I dont remember your previous problems im afraid so I cant really comment further.

Yes drosophila he is, but I don't think that is the whole reason for my aversion to his kiss.

I am not sure. We have just come back from the brink of disolving our marriage, I couldn't work last yr after DD arrived for various reasons, main one being DH didn't think we could afford childcare. Upshot of this was he felt under too much pressure (I did have various PT jobs though) and was really horrible to me. Also he didn't cope with DD at all well when she was born, a fact he has now admitted, that he thought we had made a mistake having a child at this time (although we are both in our 30s). When she got to about 7 months he began to cope better, but was still vile to me, in fact we seperated at one point. I worked so hard to hold on to the marriage last year that I seem to have run out of steam, he is trying to make an effort and I don't really feel like doing the same. Very worried I don't love him, I am finding this very difficult as I have a massive guilty conscience and would feel dreadful if I couldn't find the love I once had again, I don't want to hurt him.