DP & I are mid 20s and live separately, no kids involved, been together 3 years. I've known him since we were about six and since being a teenager he's always been prone to drink/drugs binges which has put huge strain on our relationship in the past (he goes awol for days with his phone off, sometimes it's after an argument but mostly not). He has thought he's suffering from depression for the last 18 months and this is made much, much worse following a binge - obviously. He has a history of alcoholism in his family.
He had calmed down a lot but it's got worse again lately. I just can't take it any more. He did it again this weekend and the sight of someone I love in an absolute mess is so unbearable. We rarely spend any quality time together and intimacy is a thing of the past because I don't want to be close to someone drunk or hungover. It's not fun.
I want him to quit everything for at least six months, or I don't want to be with him any more. Is that a controlling thing to do? I know he sees it as escapism but I am so scared he's going to die of an overdose or kill himself. I'm also scared if I break up with him he'll get worse and I don't think I could handle the guilt if he died. This is really affecting everything else in my life because I spend so much time worrying about him. I currently don't have a clue where he is and am in tears at work. I can't really talk about it to friends and family because I have in the past and they either disapprove or think he's fun (because they don't have to deal with the lows).