Does he want a r/s or us he just finding excuses?

[lilly40]

Have known him for over 16 years and we've always stayed in touch and have dated twice in that time, but circumstances have never been quite right for both of us. I was scared of commitment as was he.
We're both older now and I've always loved him.
I recently has a dd and the father ended r/s when I was pregnant. I only just told this guy and he said he wished dd was his.
I felt the same way as I've always loved him and thought is be be honest and really let him know my feelings. I told him I've always loved him and don't see why we can't have a r/s together. He response was that he's always loved me too and would like to consider the possibilities, but the time isn't right for him now.
Do I wait for him or is he just not really wanting a r/s with me at all and that's just an excuse?
I'm so confused

If he wanted a relationship with you, he would be in a relationship with you.

He's not, so he doesn't really want to. All the things he says are just so much headfuckery, which you certainly don't need. Look at his actions.

Why does he say the time isn't right for him right now?

He works abroad and is in the process of buying a house and said he doesn't feel settled. He'd like to start a r/s but wants to speak face to face.

He might be being honest about that then.
I do think its true that if a man is interested he will let you know.
Maybe back off and let him show you with his actions if what he says is sincere or just stringing you along.

Move on. Sorry.

Your post reminds of me an episode of How I met your mother.

You are "hooked", as in someone we don't want to have a relationship with, but feel flattered or use for some purpose, and keep hooked/strung along.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hooked_(How_I_Met_Your_Mother)

The "right now" expression is the giveaway in the episode.

Carry on with your life, don't bank on him joining you in it. That's not to say he won't but don't hold out for him in the meantime. Sounds like you have enough to deal with at present with your DD so a break from any relationship for a while may be a good thing.
Is the house he is buying going to be near to you or abroad ? Where he is planning to settle in his house is an indicator for his future intentions I'd say. Be aware that some men just have a habit of spouting whatever bull they think a woman wants to hear at the time but chicken out of any action.

"It's not the right time". "If only things were different" (said wistfully, longingly). "I'm not ready for a relationship".

All these and more indicate one thing. No relationship will ensue. I've been strung along for years on the back of a promise of "someday". Someday doesn't happen. Or it does, but the relationship they have is with someone else.

Move on.

Thanks everyone. Oh god I really don't know? What I do know is actions speak louder than words. I'll just wait and see what he does next.