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Original poster

DH doesn't want any more DCs but I do.

7 replies

VikingVagine · 18/08/2013 23:18

We have 2 DCs (11yo DS from a previous relationship and 3.5yo DD).

DH is 28, I'm 33. He is adamant he doesn't want any more (just "getting our lives back"), he didn't even want DD (loves her to bits, just doesn't feel the need or desire to have children).

I had an abortion 8 months ago (between coils Hmm ) which I have regretted ever since (he didn't force me, but convinced me it was the right thing to do).

We keep going round in circles, with neither of us budging, it's making me thoroughly miserable (even though I know I'm extremely lucky to have two DCs and a DH).

Should I just accept that the baby days are over?

OP posts:
JumpingJackSprat · 18/08/2013 23:24

It depends whether you want another baby more than you want your husband. i think it would be unfair all round to split up a family and become a single parents for the sake of a hypothetical 3rd child as it sounds like your husband isnt about to change his mind. It might sound harsh but i think if you want to stay in your marriage you will need to be grateful for what you have and maybe examine the reasons why youre so desparate for another baby.

Original poster
VikingVagine · 18/08/2013 23:59

I want to grow old with DH, I just can't seem to come to terms with stopping at two Sad . Not sure how to work on this.

OP posts:
tywysogesgymraeg · 19/08/2013 00:06

You're only 28. You have plenty of time to let the matter drop and bring it up again with DH in a year or so.

Original poster
VikingVagine · 19/08/2013 00:08

I'm 33, gynaecologist has said due to family history I should aim to have kids before I'm 35, so not that long really.

OP posts:
tywysogesgymraeg · 21/08/2013 15:42

Sorrry, misread post.

What are the gynaecological problems?

bestsonever · 21/08/2013 16:24

Life is not always how you plan it and sometimes accepting the situation rather than being in misery is the way to go. I would of preferred 2 DC's in an ideal world, but life's just not neat like that. I have one gorgeous DS. If I'd met someone earlier after splitting from his DF 7 years ago, I would of had another . I'm not bitter though, I enjoy my independence and love that I can enjoy common fun activities now he's older.

Original poster
VikingVagine · 21/08/2013 18:06

Main reason given by gynaecologist was that seeing as two of my grandparents had diabetes, it would be unwise of me to fall pregnant after 35.

I am gradually getting used to the idea of No More, although it still hurts (and me watching programs such as The Midwives last night doesn't help Angry ).

OP posts:
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