dp house being repossessed - i fear it will ruin our future

[juicychops]

ive started threads on here in the past about dp's money problems. We do both love each other, but we still don't live together after 7 years as he's in a lot of debt.
he was paying for the house his ex and kids were living in, but they moved out last October. I offered to help him sell it but as with everything he just carried on paying and didn't bother to make the time to do anything with the house.
I recently found the court letter saying that he hasn't made a payment since Nov12 and is in £7000 of arrears. He hasn't told me anything about it.
He didn't go to the court hearing so the judge has signed the house over to the bank from 5th September.

Im angry and upset that he's not told me about it, although im not really surprised as its the same as with the rest of his debt.

im worried now that he could end up owing thousands on top of this £7000 arrears which is going to affect the next god knows how many years of our life together. He lives at his mum and dads and I live alone although he stays at mine. I don't want to stay living like that for the next 10 years.

I just wanted to know what you would do in my situation. As much as I love him, im not sure if I can put my future on hold like I would have to if he ends up owing thousands from the repossession.

does that make me shallow? we don't have kids together, but I have an 8 year old ds who I need to think about

I don't think you a shallow at all. A partner should compliment you and your life, not add untold strain.

You say he is a partner but he certainly isn't treating you as a partner. He wouldn't have hidden such a big issue from you.

It is

Ok to end something if it is not right for you.

If you where a partnership surely he should have told you, what was he going to say when they'd repossessed it ? Hope you didn't notice ?

So where has the money he would have paid gone ? sorry but he doesn't sound a very viable long term partner and clearly doesn't view himself as such currently if he has kept this from you. This is probably only the tip of the iceberg and yes there will be other costs if he is repossessed and in negative equity. He is still liable for the full mortgage amount plus 7k +

I couldn't be with someone who has this sort of money issue.

You can write off ever getting a mortgage together for sure.

Sorry Op...how awful. As you rightly point out, he is likely to end up with considerable costs, not to mention impact to credit rating. What has he been doing with the mortgage money that's he's not been paying?

I fear for what else have hasn't been telling you. Personally, Id cut my losses and finish with him...your time should be devoted to DS, not stressing about this man-child.

Worst case is that when the house is sold, if it's sold under market value, maybe there's negative equity, he could end up owing a lot more than this.
He needs to pull his head out of the sand and speak to these people.
www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/
You probably need to reconsider your future with him, because this is going to impact on his ability to get a mortgage, credit, and he may end up bankrupt or with a significant debt to pay off. To be honest, the fact that he kept this from you would be a dealbreaker to me.