Single parents with Special needs kids?

[helsf]

Hi, are any of you single parents with special needs kids?

I'm feeling so alone with it all today, my DS (5) has severe dyspraxia, sensory issues and a very obvious stutter and I've had a few comments this weekend whilst out at friend/family do's. Nothing meant to be rude, just the usual 'so and so's son/daughter has that and he/she is now doing fine' and someone asking me today if my sons sight will correct itself and he won't need such thick lenses glasses. I'm probably being over sensitive but I wish I had someone I could come home and talk to about it who understood (ExH left 18 months ago) and I'm wondering if anyone would ever want to take on someone with a child with special needs ....

Hi Helsf

I'm a single parent, I have 2 dcs, one has asd. It is very hard, people have no idea. Do you talk to anyone on internet forums? The special needs childrens section on here is very good, and I've found really lovely support through some local facebook support groups.

I don't want to be too depressing, but I've found it really does make things more difficult. I have no idea how men would feel about my ds though, I never get to meet any!! My family don't want to know and I can't use babysitters or childcare with my son.

It's so important to have people you can talk to though, please talk through with others it's too much for one person to carry. It could be friends, family, or people you've met through support groups, or someone else altogether.

People do ask such stupid and insensitive questions.

I was in a relationship for a year since separating from my dcs dad, and I've recently met a lovely couple where the man has 100% accepted a child with special needs and is extremely supportive.

Whereabouts are you? pm me if you prefer.

I am a newly single parent to 2dcs with SEN. Strangely enough, part of what made me kick exH out was the fact that he could barely be bothered to be proactive on even a basic level with them, let alone do anything to address those needs. Unbelievably frustrating to me, partly due to differing aspirations and ability as a parent.

Of course it is undoubtedly harder. I am dreading the start of school (school are a bit crap, it's a constant battle with both kids). But I have also got great sources of support: other mum friends IRL with similar challenges and a brilliant group on Facebook.

As for the future, finding someone who is 'right' for you and will except you, warts, kids, and all..... absolutely anything is possible!!!! Please look after yourself and do remind yourself occasionally what a fab job you are doing.

yay. just thinking of starting a thread like this. been out for the afternoon with families... so done a bit of thinking about being a single parent again this evening. dd is hypermobile and possibly dyspraxic. ds has asd and spd and has been wonderful this afternoon, despite a shakey start at church. (scrreeching)

Hello. I am a single parent with 2 SN children (partially sighted, learning difficulties, autism) plus a NT child. I have been alone for 5 years and I have found it has got easier. You kind of adapt and the times I find myself wishing for an OH get less and less.

Like slippery I kicked my ex-h out as he was no help at all. I got more help from a guy I dated for a year! I've given up on all that now though.

I find support online and I am lucky to have a large and supportive family. It's normal to feel alone, I have days like that too but not as many these days. Talk to those who will listen and ask for help if you need it.

I had a wobble on holiday last week as my childrens disabilities are getting more obvious as they get older. I answer questions short and factually but still get a sad twinge inside.

Good luck, it can be hard but you are definitely not alone.

Thank you all for your replies, I'm not feeling so alone now!

I know what you mean about ExH's, mine was useless with anything related to DS's appointments and hardly came to any. I've decided to reduce my hours at work so I can make OT/speech therapy without getting too stressed out and using all my A/L.

I'm single mom of disabled DS

I'm a single parent with a seven year old ds with asd, and a five year old with hms. Been single five years, though am lucky that they have regular access to their dads so I do get some breaks and am an avid internet dater!!

Ooh how do you get on with internet dating smokinaces?

How frequent is avid?! Sounds fun!

Me! 1 of mine has mild asd but dp is brilliant, loving and patient with him, We're very lucky. We don't live together but he sees them regularly and is as much of a role model as their father.
My nt child is far harder work tbh.

Don't give up, there are some fab men out there.

I am a single parent with two dc with ASD. I have pretty much resigned myself to the fact it will never happen for me relationship wise now. I pull most times I go out socialising but it never goes anywhere mostly because I don't have regular child care and also because my dc could never cope with strangers being introduced.

Redhappy, I have been on many dates over the last four years. Mainly one offs, but its nice with the messages and the coffee and company sometimes. I dated one guy for a few months last summer, another foe a few months from new year and I've just started seeing a guy this month who I'm in a definite whirlwind romance with and adore. So its going ok!! There's a lot of shite to wade through and a lot of losers, but there are one or two gems it seems :-D

And I've managed all this without anyone of them meeting my kids even once. Luckily they go to bed and are asleep by eight, and I have them come to the house after we have dated properly a couple of times. We tend to then have weekday dates at mine and weekends when they're at their dads more for going out and proper dates.

Sounds exciting! Which sites would you recommend? I tried for a bit last year, but it wasn't that successful and I gave up.

Not sure I would recommend any to be fair! I used pof coz I refused to pay :-P