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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dp is away and I don't miss him

14 replies

PigeonBotherer · 18/08/2013 19:32

He went away last week and is due back tomorrow. I dreaded this week as I really thought I'd miss him but I've found that I don't. In a way, I'm dreading him coming back. His constant moaning, his piss taking, the way I have to act all clingy to get any kind of affection from him, the way if I don't initiate it, he comes nowhere near me. I've not actually missed all that.
Every time he's been away before he's promised to text and keep in touch and has ended up having such a good time that he's seemingly forgotten my existence. Even the time went away on the weekend of my birthday pissing it up with a lad half his age - he knew I didn't want him to go and promised he would keep in touch. Instead he sent me one text asking if I'd set his mate up with a single friend and then gave his phone to his mate for the night who sent me a text from it saying "suck me off, I'm so horny". I had to go to bed on this text assuming it was meant for someone else.
So this time he 's all "I promise ill keep in touch" and he actually has ... But you know what, I can't be arsed to reply. I treat him as he treats me on this one occasion and all of a sudden he's sending me tons of texts "I love you" "why you not replying?" "You hate me :-(" "you ok darling?" "You're not even missing me" etc etc

Stings like a bitch doesn't it, mate? To make matters worse he didn't clean his Internet history properly before he left and I see that on Thursday morning, as soon as I went to work at 6.30am (ffs) he was straight on the net watching hardcore porn. Yet he's never in the mood for the real thing.

So yeah, I find I'm not missing him. No doubt he'll come back tomorrow and ill fall back into the pattern of needing him around but right now, I'm just not missing him at all :-(

OP posts:
waddlecakes · 18/08/2013 19:36

Pretty straigt-forward then: leave him. What's stopping you?

voddiekeepsmesane · 18/08/2013 19:39

I felt like this when ExH went away for 3 weeks ( family member had died in another country) It was the beginning of the end for me when I realised that life was too short to be miserable with him and glad when he wasn't around. It sounds like you have fallen out of love. It happens.

grobagsforever · 18/08/2013 19:40

This sounds shit OP. How long have you been together? Any DCs?

kinkyfuckery · 18/08/2013 19:40

He sounds like a twat. Can't imagine why you haven't missed that!

DrHolmes · 18/08/2013 19:42

Yeh, agree with waddles.

I bet he's only texting you because he isn't having as much as fun as last time. Sorry that sounds harsh. But you should be with a guy that does miss you all the time and genuinley cares.

You derserve better.

slipperySlip000 · 18/08/2013 19:43

Have you got dc? If not I would run for the hills! Even if you do, I would seriously consider it. Are you sure the 'horny' text was from his mate? Why do you act clingy in order to get affection?

Weelady77 · 18/08/2013 19:45

I think I could have wrote that!

LemonPeculiarJones · 18/08/2013 20:06

Urgh. Dump him.

ARealDame · 18/08/2013 20:42

Constant so-called "Piss-taking" can be very grinding in my experience - after all its sort of a way of putting people down.

He sounds really Eww, tbh. No respect for you.

Anniegetyourgun · 18/08/2013 20:46

So um, why do you think you need a guy like this in your life? Does he have an exceptionally large wallet?

mammadiggingdeep · 18/08/2013 20:47

First time I've actually written this.....LTB!!!! You'll be happier without him by the sounds of it.

GetStuffezd · 18/08/2013 20:53

Why are people so reluctant to leave these desperately unhappy relationships? There doesn't have to be a big "incident" or anything - it is fine to break up with someone simply because you no longer want to be their partner. He sounds horrible.

MissStrawberry · 18/08/2013 20:55

Two lines in and I am thinking get rid!

str8tothepoint · 19/08/2013 20:08

get rid, be happy without him and be with someone who you love, maybe have some you time which seems like you need and enjoy your own company, strong independent woman

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