Obvious domestic violence

[RedlipsAndSlippers]

Not towards myself. I work with the public, and we have a young woman that comes in every few days, she's about 23 and I've got to know her a little for a chat etc.
Within the last couple of months I've noticed the odd little bruise on her upper arms, followed by larger ones all up her arms, then one on her forehead. Then today she came in and the whole side of her face was bruised. It honestly made me want to cry, but I have no idea what to actually DO! She's an adult, and as such surely she'd have to allow the police to become involved even if I were to contact them? Also, in my work data security and confidentiality is crucial, so if I were to pass on her details I could lose my job.
I've met her overbearing boyfriend when he's come in with her, and find him intimidating, and at 29 weeks pregnant, I'm ashamedly worried about becoming involved in something that could potentially leave me in a risky situation.
So essentially WWYD?

Could you give her the phone number of women's aid?

I agree with Bendy. Women's Aid number. Or just try and broach it with her. She might be ready for someone to help her or she may not and get very defensive. Either way having someone tell her that there are people out there who can help her might sink in later.

What an awful and sad situation for you though

Where I work we have Mozaic
www.mozaic.org.uk/awareness-raising/index.html
if we are worried for someone's safety we can give out the Mozaic lip gloss, the barcode on it's side is actually the helpline phone number. So it's a safe way of giving out the number. Maybe there is something similar in your area?

If she's coming to see you and not making an effort to hide her bruises (using clothes or make-up or whatever), I'd think she is hoping that you might ask if she's OK. Perhaps something like "if you ever need someone to talk to", or something along those lines. Obviously not when boyfriend's around.

As a long shot she might have some sort of condition that means she bruises easily. And don't feel ashamed for wanting to potentially protect yourself - nothing wrong with that!

You couldsay "have you been to the gp about that bruise? It looks nasty "

You could get women's aid effects print one off their webage or find
Local number and put it prominently where you work.

If boyfriend comes in with her she may not be able to talk.

Sometimes more subtle approach might work..if you chatting eg you could say "I.ve Been spending a lot of time with my friend this week she had to leave her partner as he was hurting her but she got a lot of help from her gp and from women's aid " plant the seed that help is available .

I think you can call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.

You may be able to call police anonymously on the non emergency number 101. (Please double-check - I've no idea).

Pregnancy is a key time of escalation of dv, and obviously the child as well as the mother is in danger. Therefore you really should report it to police so they can contact social services, who need to do an assessment.

Giving her the WA number is dangerous to her & it also identifies you as aware of the dv.

The best thing would be to call WA yourself OP, they will advise the best course of action.

I meant to say giving her the WA number directly is dangerous..

Another poster has given details of the Mozaic lip gloss upthread.

The op is pregnant not the 23 year old?

Oh sorry!

I'd still call Crimestoppers...

Thank you all so much for your advice, Mozaic sounds amazing, I had a little look online but couldn't find anything local with the same kind of merchandise/phone number system. Think I'll give WA a call myself and see what they advise. Thanks again :)

You are being wildly assumptive on her situation.

Also, in my work data security and confidentiality is crucial, so if I were to pass on her details I could lose my job

Think long and hard

Yes think about becoming involved. She is an adult and may not appreciate your involvement even though you mean well. No harm in giving WA a call though, see what they reccomend. But always best to keep a professional distance from customers.

Its her situation, she needs to be the person to want to instigate change.

Yes but zippyey that;s the thing about DA isn't it? You get so worn down that intigating change is a real big fat shit scary thing.

IF this woman is in a DV situation then one of the things that often happens is that the abuser isolates the victim from any usual family or friend support.

It could be the OP is the only friendly face/voice she has contact with, so I can understand her concern, and it sound like she has a difficult position to consider at the same time.

All you can do is offer advice in a low key way I guess OP but good for you for caring about this poor lass, whetever the reason for her bruises.

INSTIGATING

When I went to the loo in the ante natal department at the hospital recently I noticed they had a poster with tear offs in there and if you needed advice or help re dv you could hand one of these blank, coloured tear off slips with your wee sample and someone would speak to you privately.

Depending what sort of work you do and the nature of your service users, could you do something similar?