Should I be worried about my marriage?

[rubyblue]

No major upset but just a serious of minor niggles over childcare, housework, generally knackered with two dcs under five, two full time jobs and no time for each other. So today I have PMT and had a long and challenging day with the dcs but I still manage to ask DH how is day was etc and try to make an effort but I get nothing back. No kindness, no question about my day. We went to a friends tonight for drinks and just as we were leaving and I am making polite but boring chat, I swear I say DH roll his eyes as he said 'that's like discussing bus times'. Am I over reacting to think this is unkind? I told him I in a calm way (not drunken) and he's now gone off in a huff to the spare room. Contempt is one of the bad signs isn't it? I am really, really worried and sensitive about this as my parents have a dreadful marriage and I lived it growing up. Am I being daft? What can I do?

I know how you feel I have a child of six and a three yr old with possible ASD we both work fulltime opposite long shifts its really hard but I keep thinking it will get better as the boys get older?

It's not so much unkind as disrespectful and lacking in solidarity. Does he show signs of this in other ways?

Ruby- it's tough- am feeling your pain- we've been through times like that before . Dh and I have 3 dcs and both work full time- please remember that mostly it all blows over and take comfort in 'it a phase' and it'll pass. I know it's hard but you'll come out of the tough times- let him go off into the spare room- whatever he needs to cope and have his space - it doesn't mean your relationship is doomed- marriages ebb and flow.... Hang in there x

It has happened on a couple of occasions, usually after a drink and in social situations where I have felt unsupported and/or he has been critical of me. I should say that I am pretty sensitive at the best of times.

We had a big row a few weeks ago about division of labour in the home. I raised the idea of counselling, as a neutral ground to make our relationship better. He was embarrassed and reluctant to see someone. And frankly, when would we find the time??!!! It's all just so bloody hard at the moment. I dream of being alone in a white room.

Sounds very similar to my marriage at the minute but I'm putting it down to having two children under 5 and were both working so its hard to find time for each other. I'm fed up of the huffy strops, it's really starting to wear me down.
Not sure what to suggest as I'm not sure how to solve my problems either.

X2boys, sorry to hear that, extra tough on you guys.

Sarahlund, thanks for the reassurance. Generally I think we are ok but it scares me when we have wobbles like this. I will not go into the spare room and grovel!

Ruby- def don't grovel but perhaps make him a cuppa in the morning and take it in- don't say anything about tonight and just let it blow over- I guess you could always bring it up again when you are feeling less pissed off and ask him what happened and that you'd like to understand how he is feeling about stuff ... Thinking of you- I've been there x

Ah thanks Sarah. Sometimes I feel lonely, he is not a great communicator at the best of times and we do laugh that I am a massive worrier whilst he is oblivious. I reckon he has gone into the spare room as he thinks I am angry and grumpy so he wants to avoid an argument. All he has to do is give me a hug. That's it. Would make me feel so much better. That's what I crave and what has eroded with having kids. I feel sad at the thought that the demands of kids etc make such a massive impact on our relationship.

Icantstopeatinglol just to reiterate I think men are much more moody and terrible at just talking things through! No answers just sympathies.

Ruby- how are things today?