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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

do i need to see a relationship counsellor?

3 replies

Bangonthedoor · 16/08/2013 21:42

So...what i'd like to know if anyone has seen a relationship advisor and were they any use to your situation?

Me and DP have been together for almost 6 years, we have a house together and also a 15mo DD.

Since about January/February time this year things have been very rocky. Ive on/off felt like leaving him but never gone through with it due to our commitments etc.

Im a true believer in communication is key so have been honest about my feelings and how much i hate him sometimes and how much i want to leave him sometimes etc. However, he is impossible to talk to and have a sensible discussion with. It always turns into an arguement as he is so shortsighted and refuses to compromise on anything.

We've been rowing more recently about silly things to other people but big things to me and we just dont seem to be getting anywhere. We've just had a row now where i told him that i hate him and dont want him anywhere near me.

I know he would never agree to see a relationship advisor but do you think it would be beneficial if i saw one on my own? Just to talk about my feelings really because when we're not together i really miss him and my love for him comes back but then when i do see him we end up rowing and i want him gone again .....any advice gratefully received! Tia x

OP posts:
GoingUpInTheWorld · 16/08/2013 21:45

I dont think professional help will help you in this case.

You have to want to make it work, and it doesnt sound like you do

ImpulsePineapple · 16/08/2013 21:52

I disagree. going to see a relationship counseller may well help you clarify in your own mind what you want/don't want. You'll get strategys to help you if you decide to make it work, and support if you decide you want to separate.

Bit odd that he won't go to relationship counselling though. What are his reasons?

WhoNickedMyName · 16/08/2013 21:57

I agree that individual counselling would do you good in that it could help you work out what exactly you want and you can make a decision, rather than saying 'I hate you' and dangling the threat of leaving every time you argue, which some might say is emotional abuse.

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