Do i believe him?

[wandymum]

DH told me this morning to expect him back late tonight as it's his work annual Summer party.

A colleague of his has just phoned looking for him (he's a workaholic so would usually be at work still at this time of the evening). When I said he was probably on his way to the party - colleague was very confused and said that was last night not tonight.

So I phoned and left a message on DH's mobile. He rang straight back (which is suspicious in itself as he never returns my calls). He says yes there was a party last night but that was for the whole department and there is another one tonight for a select subset.

Do I believe him? Our relationship is pretty crap at the moment but I wouldn't have pinned him as a cheater (can't imagine he'd have the time to be honest as all he ever thinks about is his career).

He was particularly smartly dressed and spent ages 'grooming' this morning too.

He doesn't really mistreat me - just shows no interest. Works all the time and gets annoyed if I ask him to spend more time with me and the DCs. I had bad PND after dc2 and begged him to take time off work to help me but he wouldn't. Forgets anniversaries, to come home early when I've arranged to go out etc

What you describe here is mistreating you.

No. Sorry

No, I wouldn't believe him, I always say go with your gut instinct op.

This aside, what are you with him for..?

Oh dear- whatever he's up to it's not good. He may or may not be cheating but it does sound like he's lying- and he's not really supporting you when you ask him which, in my opinion, makes him a bit of an arse.

Whether he's cheating on you with a woman or not, he's definitely cheating on you with the job.

It's great to be ambitious but to not put your wife/kids first is completely disgusting.

I honestly don't see what you get out of this relationship, except worry and agro.

Thanks. Yes, to be honest, if he was cheating it wouldn't really be much of a blow. His priorities are already somewhere else. But are DCs are little and right now I can put up with it.

But it'll be harder when they're older. Unless you think things will change (and I guess you don't).

Is it because you will struggle financially?

You can put up with it, yes, but why the hell would you want to?

He sounds dire.

I would sound her out tbh,

can't get much worse can it?

Are you sure that he works really long hours? That's a pretty old excuse.

Even if there were several different parties, the colleague would surely have known 'oh, sales are out tonight!' or 'accounts went to that bar recently'. I used to know that.

Wandymum, if you're going to draw a line in the sand do it while the children are young. That's what I did, and it's easier when they're young and will change school happily enough. Mine were so young only one had even started school, first year of school, so it was easier in that regard. If I had to do it now I'd be shouted down by the ex and the kids.

Why are you settling for such a restricted life? You only get one! It is too long to spend it being treated like crap.