I have recently got married and have acquired a stepdaughter (nearly 6) with whom I get on reasonably well, even if she is spoilt beyond belief. She comes to stay every other weekend because she lives some distance away and my husband has to do all the fetching and carrying.
My problem is my husband: when she turn up he starts behaving in a totally inconsiderate manner, being rude to me and belittling me, to the extent that when mutual friends came to dinner they commented to me afterwards how obvious is was that my husband and his daughter were ganging up on me. I am an intelligent woman who commands respect at work and I see no reason why I should be treated in such a fashion at home!
The last time I spoke to him about how I felt he had not one single comeback on my comments and requests except that he didn?t realise how it was hurting me. The row ended with him accusing my friends and family as seeing has daughter as a ?lump of shit? which I can promise isn?t true. My parents were a little apprehensive until they met her and then they raved about her so much that my sister was jealous that I had presented my parents with a grandchild before she had (another story entirely!!).
My husband then refused to speak to me for four days and then only did because we were going on holiday with mutual friends.
Since then nothing has changed in his attitude towards me when she is around and I don?t know how to approach him any more without everything degenerating into a blazing row and then him sulking for days afterwards.
I am wondering whether I made a mistake in marrying him and I am very scared about the future. We both decided we wanted children before we got married but I am now unsure if I want to with him treating me like dirt when his daughter comes to stay. We invariably aren?t speaking by the end of the weekend.
Other than his daughter we have never seriously rowed about anything and I used to believe we had a good relationship.