have previously posted this on chat and have been advised to post on here as it might help a bit more......
bit of a long story but here goes.
aprox 12 years ago i was seeing a guy A( who became my husband eventually). before we were married i wasnt happy in the relationship, and where i was working at the time began to be attracted to another guy, who had mutual interest in me, B. i split breifly from A and started to see B. it was a very intense relationship and there was a lot of sexual tension between us but we messed around a bit but things went no further than that although we both wanted it to. i really liked the guy and from what his freinds were telling me he seemed to feel the same about me , and to be honest i was falling for him. anyway to cut a long story short just when i was the happiest i had been in ages , my then ex A popped back into my life and said he knew i had been seeing B , and he told me that hed been having a rough time. we chatted for a bit and then he kissed me. i pushed him away but the next day he went to where i worked with B and asked one of the other staff to go get B as he wanted a chat with him. i couldnt do anything about it as i was serving customers at the time. anyway A spoke to B and told him i had kissed him and wanted to take it further. I dont know why but B beleived him and when i tried to talk top him as soon as i could after their conversation said he was in love with me but couldnt look at me or be around me, i tried to convince him but he was having none of it. i was devaststed and hadnt felt like that ever before. after lunch that day i asked another staff member where B was as i hadnt seen him about. they said in the staff room emptying locker as he had jacked his job in. i went to where he was and again he wouldnt look at me but confirmed this was the case , and his last words to me were youre a smart girl , do something with your life and dont waste it here. i asked what it was that he wanted from me and again he said , like i said youre a smart girl, figure it out. then left.
i tried calling him loads of times but he wouldnt pick up, and i heard things from other staff saying they had seen him out at weekend going a bit crazy getting off with loads of girls etc.
anyway a few months later , A popped back up again , and as i was feeling so low managed to wheedle his way back into my life. a year later i got married to A, but on the day i was getting married i had a missed call on my phone from B while i was getting ready, i tried to call back more than once but was no answer. it has always been in my head wondering if he called to ask me not to go thru with it?
anyway after we had been married a while i fell pregnant with my daughter now 10. the relationship turned really bad and abusive and we left him in 2010.
im now in another relationship with someone , refer to as C , who is brilliant, loving, kind , considerate and taken on my daughter as his own , i do love him however , i just cant get B out of my head. wondering all the time on the what ifs and what would happen if i could contact him again. i have even looked on his facebook page but not rquested a freindship in case he rejects me, think he has a child now as well but from what i can see no partner mentioned on the scene.
also i accidently ran into him a couple of months ago. im now working as a social worker and had taken someone to an outpatients appt at hospital for the first time. i sat in the waiting room with them and had been checking my diary for dates , and the person i was with asked if i knew that guy as he kept looking over at me. i said who??????? behind the desk they said , when i looked up it was B!!!!!!!!!!! as soon as he saw i had noticed him he got up and hid out at the back, and eventually came back to the desk. for the rest of the time we were there everytime i looked up he was looking at me then quickly looked away, but we didnt speak, we were then called into the appt , havnt seen him since but cant get him outta my head, wishing C was really B.
NOT GOOD I KNOW......