Hi Hippy - happy to give my reasons. A link to my original post would be much easier, but i don't know how to do that. Is NC something you are considering yourself?
Basically my mum is very selfish and abusive. My sister avoids seeing her for more than a few mins a handful of times per year, and my brother feels obliged to visit but says as far as he is concerned he hasn't ever really had a mum.
She lies and threatens suicide to get her own way. And if challenged/ disagrees with you about ANYTHING she throws a full-on tantrum eg slams doors, screams inches from your face, hurls abuse etc. These disagreements can be from something as innocent as which colour cushion you prefer.
Yet the way she treats other people is awful: even as children she has constantly name called, told us how we ruined her life, how useless we are etc, whilst leaving all housework and most of the childcare for my younger siblings to me. She would also tell ridiculous lies about us, mostly to dad, then smirk behind his back cos we were then in trouble. She threatened me with a hot iron held to my face when i was a teen, and when my sister was a similar age she told dad and all our relatives that my sister held a knife to her throat (not true, as there was a witness and my sister was devastated). She rarely has anything positive to say and seems to love drama. When we were children she fell out with everyone we knew at various times, but they were always the ones in the wrong - never her.
She blamed all of the above on depression. But she enjoyed causing us pain. She would laugh and mock us if we ever cried infront of her. She would frequently scream in my brothers face as a todler, saying how much she hated him, then would laugh and send him to his room when he began to cry. That is not depression.
She is also able to turn her behaviour on and off, which shows an element of control/ awareness of what she's doing. She spent several months trying to get my dad done for domestic violence (not true) and tried to get him sectioned and had authorities convinced for a while that it was dad with the problems.
There are many things that she did over the years and it would take forever to list them all. I guess the last straw was a few months ago, she ended up being sectioned under the mental health act after abusing a policeman in public. She stayed in there for 3 weeks while they assessed her. When i went to visit her the first time, she literally RAN to greet me and showered me with hugs and kisses, called me darling etc - first time she has ever hugged me. I only realised later that it was all for show infront of the nurses. She showed none of her normal 'depresssion' symptoms, and the staff saw no evidence that she was ill. even thought they had stopped all her medication.They said she had a personality disorder and at the final meeting she openly mocked my dad and sister and bragged about how she feigned illness to get her own way. She refused counselling and showed no remorse. She actually showed pride in how she had abused us over the years. I realised that she would never change and i could be dealing with her shit until i was in my 60s or 70s. I wasn't prepared to do this so i walked away.