I've not had sex for almost three years!

[MygodImdesperate]

Help me get back in the saddle (no pun intended). Posted this in chat but no response.

I've been single mum now for over three years. Haven't had sex in almost three. Its now becoming a bit of an issue for me. I've joined internet dating sites, but there is no one that I would even want to have a one nighter with. How do I er get sex then? My self esteem is just on the floor, I feel repugnant so the longer it is, the more of an issue it is becoming.

Have name change for obvious reasons.

Self loathing is my best friend anyway, so after a ONS I doubt it would bother me.

awww My you sound dead sad, where abouts are you? I'll come out with you?!

I'm signing up right now beagles

West Sussex Libertine but I work up in London have probably outed myself but don't really care

I was going to suggest something like a swingers site or one of those dating sites for casual hook ups only but I wonder if they might be full of sleaze bags? I would like to check them out myself but unfortunately have a profession that means having an online dating!profile does not work well with. Otherwise I'd probably check out the toyboy one too!

good luck! you aer due some fun and attention, OP!

ah rubbish, I'm in Norfolk, will have to shag live vicariously through you! :)

sites for married men secretly looking for flings ARE sleazy, Jacey. As far as dating profiles - many have feature where you only show photos to those you've chosen, but can't remember if toyboy site has these. You can put no photo though, and then e-mail if requested.

I've thought about that Jacey as well, problem is that I imagine its full of married men obviously I don't know for sure. But having had my heart ripped apart by someone who had an affair, I wouldn't want to even unknowingly contribute to someone else's potential heartbreak.

Maybe a bit of swinging hmm, do I get to wear a mask like in dogging tales?

Its been 4 years for me, and i just turned 30, i appear to be more highly charged than in my 20's, i fear i may kill men with my built up sexual aggression.

Ezio can I ask why? Are you a single mum as well. God it annoys me how easily men can bloody move on in the wake of destruction they create when they bugger off.

Yeah, been a single mum for 4 years, depression and stuff has led to me just not bothering with the men, i only miss the sex.

Me too where are you, we can be predatory together

There is an App called Tinder. Ive just been reading about it in Guardian online.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2013/aug/16/tinder-app-meet-people-sex-celebrities

And if my husband asks me why its in my history ill need you lot to back me up.

Good luck! I think it sounds like you need a ONS (or two) in order to get back in the saddle before you can begin a serious relationship hunt.

Loneliness and sex neediness won't put you on the right platform for finding a great partner so I would absolutely scratch the itch first.

You'll feel a thousand times better and then you can think about avenues to find a relationship.

If you are interested in a relationship, why are you just looking for sex sites? What dating sites have you tried? Have you tried singles nights? Speed dating? Joining some groups/clubs/social activities? Do you have time to do those things with 3 DC?

Essex, aka Tanland. Sexually Aggressive mumsnetters unite!!!

I don't have the time to do all that stuff. As I said I don't know anyone that is single and wouldn't feel comfortable doing all those things by myself. Long term I would love a relationship but with the way things are at home I wouldn't feel comfortable doubt it right now as things are tough with three and especially with one of them needing lots of extra care and attention. I've tried match, eharmony, plenty of fish. But I seem to get only the sleaziest type trying up chat me up. People that ask me if I will smoke for them, let them look at my feet etc i don't think I'm going to get a relationship online so have kind of given up.

Its been a good long while for me too.

Trouble is I dont want a relationship and I dont do casual sex

Doesnt leave me with many options !

Casual sex is actually a very good thing. It stops you getting hung up on inadequate men. It stops you being prepared to put up with men who are shit in bed, just because they are nonviolent and available.

(I haven't actually had PIV sex for about 5 years myself, but then I had so much in the past that I don't mind giving my chuff a rest...)

I'm single, age 35 with two young kids and I've been on my own for almost 4 years but I did have a brief spell with one chap. Hardly saw him though, so I'm not sure it counts

If you live in Herts, I'd love to get dressed up and go out. Where do you live?

All my friends are married too.