This is stupid.......right??

[cakeordeath1963]

I suppose I'm just looking for someone to talk sense into me.

l've been single for quite some time and just lately it's really been getting to me.I hate having no-one to talk to at night, I hate having to do all the heavy lifting at home on my own, I hate being the only one not in a couple, I hate the feeling that I have no-one "on my side", I hate all the comments about "oh you'll find someone" - you get it I just hate it! Sometimes it feels like an ache I get so lonely.

Anway, I've been asked out, which sounds great BUT it's one of my son's old friends! To put things in perspective we are not talking a young boy here, he is 29. I'm disappointed in myself that I'm actually considering saying yes, after all what could a 29-year-old possibly see in a 50-year-old woman??

We have been facebook friends for a while and have usually just passed the occasional comment to each other however this week he has sent me a private message saying he is home on leave from the army and do I fancy meeting up for a catch up. He says he thinks I'm gorgeous, which I know is just sweet-talking me as i'm just your average 50-year-old I'm certainly not gorgeous! He hinted at sexting too, but I told him I'm definately not into anything like that!

It would be a disaster if I agreed to a date wouldn't it?
I think it's just that I've had nothing to look forward to for so long that I'm considering going along to see what happens......

I've been lurking on MN for a while and I'm hopingto get some straight-talking advice. I'm just being stupid...aren't I??

Doesn't have to be a disaster. May not be what you want or be suitable long term, but you might just have a good time. Tis harmless.

Would you feel better about it if you mentioned it to your son first? Perhaps his reaction is what is holding you back.

Def mention it to your son.
My friend has been cut off by one of their children because of similar.

I would be very wary of someone who suggested 'sexting' before you have even started a relationship ................. hmm............. sounds as though he is home on leave from the army and looking for a little fun with an older, experienced woman, if that suits you fine, but I doubt it will lead to the stable relationship that you soulnd as though you want from your first paragraph.

You don't have to get into a long term relationship here.
He just wants a bit of fun while on leave.
I think you should consider it as long as you both know what you want.
Enjoy it.

Oh god, one of your son's friends wants you to send him dirty texts? Sorry, OP, but surely you're not considering anything with him?

As Imperial says, he's probably having a good laugh with his mates saying that he is planning to 'pull' you.

Don't do it if you have any dignity.

JackyDanny my son wouldn't mind, he doesn't keep in touch with this friend, they lost touch after school. I think It's just me who thinks it just doesn;t seem right to meet a guy for drinks when the last time we had "drinks" was when I was ging him a glass of squash at my house while he was visiting my son!

Mixed opinions I see:
Camp 1 says go for it, it's just a bit of harmless fun.

Camp 2 says he is looking to make a fool of me.........

IMO I do think he is just after a "good time", I'm not sure I want that but then again I've been "saving" myself for so long I feel like a born again virgin! So both camps are a bit right, only I am sure he wouldn't treat it as a laugh he is a very dependable bloke.
In any case, I'm not sure we would even have sex!! I think I may have forgotten how......

Well in that case cake, I would suggest meeting him for a drink and see where it goes from there.
Don't worry, it's like riding a bike if it does come to that.
Entirely up to you on this one.

I think if you went on a date you would regret it.I don't think its the age issue but more the approach, you're not friends and to get a msg a for date just doesn't feel right.Perhaps if you had met a few times and you decided you had lots in common then it would be OK but I suspect he is viewing you as the older more experienced woman who maybe up for fun.

You want a relationship and so you should set the bar higher.

I know it can feel lonely being single but I don't think he's the right person and sometimes a bad experience with dating will knock your confidence.

When I was single I found that they first step was to accept that I wanted a relationship, it was like a switch & a conscious decision.I then got involved in a few activities which increased the circle of people I knew and indirectly I met dh.

Take it as a compliment but decline - giving headspace & time to this man means you may miss the opportunity for a real relationship.

In what world do you remember your mate's mum and think "Oh I wouldn't mind going on a date with her." Be sensible!

If you were out for an evening with friends, bumped into a 29 year old, chatted all night and then and took it further, that's one thing, but for this bloke to think of sending dirty messages to his friend's mum is just weird. It's like something you'd read in a really cheap magazine. Think of the headline, "I shagged my mate's mum!"

Nothing against the army, either, but after reading that arse site, it makes me think of some of the posts on there. Put it this way, it's impossible to believe he won't be telling all his mates.

Yeah I know

But it was nice to feel flattered for the first time in months!

I considered it for about half an hour but I know in my heart it's a HUGE mistake - I won't be going..........

For what it's worth I totally agree with newlife and imperial.

Sorry love, I think he's just after a shag and he thinks you are desperate enough

Yes, I knew even as I was typing it was stupid.

I suppose it's been so long since I had something to look forward to the thought of just going to have a drink didn't seem that bad an idea.
Thanks for all your input- I may give eharmony a try and find someone my own age

Cake, I hope this doesn't sound patronising, but my gran who's now 78 and was divorced actually met her second husband in her late 40s, she says he was the love of her life.

So I'm sure you still have plenty to look forward to.

Thanks Mousey it's very good to hear and not patronising at all

Although it was more inspiring when I read what I THOUGHT you had posted; that your gran was 78 and her husband was in his 40s!!