I am not good at friendships. I have lots of acquaintances and I get on well with people in general but I tend to find close friendships quite difficult. I have a few - relationships that survive the years inspite of distance and time - women that I stay in contact with sporadically but who just click when we get together.
I have two closeish friends that live near me. Both of them have their own problems atm. One of who has been there for me throughout H's affair and the aftermath - been such an amazing support. We have given each other support and love - two way street.
The other broke up with her partner just before I found out about H's affair. It was a horrible mess - she was in pieces and I did my best to support her but she can't seem to move on - she kept seeing him and he has been dangling her on a string for months and months. I have listened, hugged, cooked for her, shopped for her, looked after her young son, helped her with the house. She texts me regularly telling me how lonely she is, how she missed him, why am I avoiding her, why does everyone avoid her, why do people hate her? Every weekend when she knows I am free because I am not working she asks me to visit her - I have started to say no now. I have reached the end of my rope. I am a depressive and I can feel her sucking the joy out of me. I have suggested she goes back on her ADs but she won't hear of it. I know she needs help but I am not sure I can be with one to give it to her. Not to mention she has shown just about zero interest in my problems over the last year when I needed her to support me too. Thing is I know another 'good friend' of hers who is in the same boat as me - she seems to drive people who care for her away. H is good friends with her ex - and I know his reasons were similar. I don't want to be cruel but I can't see any way out.
Help!