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Original poster

my sister's attitude since becoming a christian

37 replies

bubblepop · 14/06/2006 13:42

is really annoying me. she's 30 years old, single no kids, and has just found god and become a 'born again' christian. im very pleased that she has found something that makes her happy,and that she has made some new friends from the church. although im an athiest myself, i have never once made any negative comments about her new found beliefs and have been totally supportive when we have talked about it. however, the problem is her attitude towards me has become so 'holy er than thou' , she comes out with statements like; " well IF you get to heaven" and "god knows whats in your heart, you'l be going to hell" and so on. she does'nt preach to me or try to pursuade me to see her point of view, she just throws these cocky comments in to our conversations. i think what's bothering me is that it is beginning to become an obsession with her, i know that being a christian IS a way of life, but i have other friends who are part of the same church and they are nothing like this.Sad.is it unrealistic for me to expect to be close to her now that she is a christian and i am not?how do other christians feel about their non-christian friends/relatives?

OP posts:
morningpaper · 14/06/2006 13:43

oh no

sounds like she has got into the loony end of things

very hard to know what to suggest

spacedonkey · 14/06/2006 13:44

Comments like that aren't very christian are they!?!

Tinker · 14/06/2006 13:44

Isn't presumption a sin?

I guess she's caught up in the honeymoon period. Think you're doing well not to bait her, you could have field day.

Pruni · 14/06/2006 13:48

IME (well, not my experience Grin but being round a couple of people who've recently found god) this is a phase and passes after a couple of years.
I think it's like being so utterly enthused and overtaken by the wondrousness of it all, and it settles down into it really being a way of life rather than a huge change.
I had one friend who used to bang on about Jesus all the time, skirting the loony fringe tbh, but she's now married, two kids, just normal, whilst also being a committed christian.

foundintranslation · 14/06/2006 13:50

I am Christian and married to a humanist. It's fine - I wouldn't even go as far as to say it's an area of conflict between us. It helps that we have fairly similar political views and attitudes to life - the rest we just get on with and accept the others' views (e.g. ds was baptised, but although dh was present at the ceremony he took no active part in it; we married in church but dh left off the 'according to God's holy law' bit of the vows - hich was fine with the priest btw). So no, your hope to continue a positive relationship with your sister is imo not unrealistic at all.

She sounds rather an evangelical sort of Christian, which I am not. It might partly be the church she goes to - although if others at the same curch are not like this, then she might, particularly as she is new to things, be interpreting certain things 'over-zealously'.

I'd try and ignore the comments and give it some time.

Rhubarb · 14/06/2006 13:51

My mother is exactly like this too. She believes that she is on a mission from God and my hostility is further proof of her holiness as she believes that the devil is in me, trying to block her path.
She's always been a bit nutty though and over-religious.

I'm still a Christian but my way of thinking is far removed from hers. My faith is based on the New Testament - where Jesus specially says that no-one but God is allowed to judge, and tells people to look at their own lives before casting judgements on others. If you read the New Testament there is nothing you can find fault with there. But like most things, it is subject to humanity and abuse. Just to annoy her, you should quote Jesus back at her!

QE · 14/06/2006 13:52

I have 2 very good friends who are just like this. They don't ram their beliefs down my throat but every now and again I get the "god knows what's in your heart" crap and they both truly believe that they will go to heaven and I won't because I don't believe.

Tell your sister that you are happy for her but you would appreciate less of the comments. Part of being a christian is spreading the word at every opportunity but if she knows you really don't want to hear it all the time, then she won't. Is she easy to talk to? Would she take this in the right spirit?

mosschops30 · 14/06/2006 13:53

doesnt sound like shes a christian to me, having recently converted to catholicism I tend not to speak to people about it, unless I think its something I can share. I dont bang on about how I'm a christian (god I hate that word anyway), certainly dont think I've now got a ticket to heaven, or think I'm any better than anyone else.

As others have said, definately sounds like she's at the loony end of the christian spectrum

tissy · 14/06/2006 13:54

just ignore it, it will settle!

One of my friends at school was like this when she found Jesus, and it lasted till she got pregnant by accident whilst "on the pill" at University. A few weeks before she had been giving us the lecture about how sex before marriage was a sin and we'd all go to hell...

she's now relatively normal,but still a practising Christian

yorkshirelass79 · 14/06/2006 13:56

How long has she been 'born again'? Could it be that it's all very new to her and she's just very enthusiastic about it all and will calm down soon?

wannaBe1974 · 14/06/2006 13:58

agree with others - it may just be a phase. Having said that I have a "friend" who is that type of christian and has never really come out of the honeymoon period since she entered it at least 20 years ago. When I moved in with my dh before we were married she told me that all I had to do was to prey to god for forgiveness for having had sex before marriage, she broke up with a boyfriend because he "came between me and god", on my birthday she sent me a text saying that I had wonderful musical talents and that god had intended something wonderful to happen with them, and if I ask how she is, instead of saying "I'm fine", she says "I'm blessed". I could go on but think you get the picture.

If you think she might be open to discussion about it you could try and talk to her and explain to her that you are happy that she's found god and that she has something in her life, but that that's not how you feel about things and although you understand that you've taken different paths in life, you would like to stay close to her as she is your sister and you love her, and you're sure that God would approve of her staying close to her family. But you need to be open to the possibility that she may not be receptive though - my friend certainly isn't, and as a result she now has very few friends because they view her as thinking she's above everyone else.

Tinker · 14/06/2006 13:59

he "came between me and god", Grin

Rhubarb · 14/06/2006 14:04

If she's casting judgement then she's not a proper Christian tell her, cause it's a sin to judge, only God is supposed to do that.

And she can never tell others that they are going to Hell! Shock That's really bad! Jesus had a lot to say about the hypocrites who preached to others yet led lives of debauchery themselves, and those who made it known what good they were doing, how much they prayed and fasted and so on - he said they had already had their reward.

He illustrated it all with the story of the peasant woman and the hypocrite in the Temple. He made a show of giving loads of money to the Temple, he prayed out loud for everyone to hear, whereas the peasant woman sneaked in, put in a groat which was all she had and she didn't even dare raise her head towards the altar. No-one noticed her yet Jesus said she was a far better person than the hypocrite.

Original poster
bubblepop · 14/06/2006 14:41

she's been 'born again' for about a year r so now. she says if she meets a new man, she won't date him unless he is a christian too. she thinks that she cured her hayfever by praying to god and asking him to make it go away.she saw a car that was similar to her old one(that got stolen)and she thinks that it was god having a little joke with her...

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 14/06/2006 14:42

She's seriously cracked up!

Original poster
bubblepop · 14/06/2006 14:49

rhubarb ha ha lol

OP posts:
yorkshirelass79 · 14/06/2006 14:54

She sounds as mad as a box of frogs.
People do change for all sorts of reasons and maybe you're not meant to be close friends anymore.
I'd be inclined to spend more time with friends who made me feel good about myself, not bad.

Rhubarb · 14/06/2006 14:55

sister - you can't choose family eh Bubblepop?

throckenholt · 14/06/2006 14:57

next time laugh, and say i hope you can hear how sanctimonious you sound.

Say you are glad she is happy - but can she please lay off the evangelising - you can live your life in your own way.

Tortington · 14/06/2006 14:57

" its nice how true christians leave the real judging to god, don't you think?"
said pointedly after such a comment

i am a catholic - but god botherers get on my tits- with the bible this and the bible that.

look the only person judging me is god - so feck off

yorkshirelass79 · 14/06/2006 14:59

sister! oops Blush
must stop speed reading

AlmightyGod · 14/06/2006 15:00

Cuuuuusty! How dare you use the f word! I have not heard from youuuu in a while, I hope that son of yours is not still smoooooking!

I have heard faaaar to many swear words part yoooour lips! Confess my child! Confeeeeess!

motherinferior · 14/06/2006 15:08

Sounds like how some people get after having babies Grin

AlmightyGod · 14/06/2006 15:11

You can never have enough babies MotherInferior, that is what sex is for!

Tortington · 14/06/2006 15:12

and oragasms clearly psml@miself

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