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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Confused about how he really feels

3 replies

onionlove · 13/08/2013 22:40

To cut a long story short me and DH haven't got on great for a while we have stressful jobs two small children etc like others our lives are hectic and we have no time together. That said I'm getting so hacked off with being told that i am being horrible to him all the time. Feel like i walk on eggshells. This weekend was typical, he was tired and miserable and moody with the kids i tried to help him then my patience wears thin feels like i have another child to look after sometimes. Then we row then he says sorry he is just feeling sensitive or ill or tired then tonight he brings it all up again and tells me how difficult i am to live with and its me who makes him unhappy etc. So i am confused don't know what he really thinks when he keeps changing his story just fed up being told how horrible i am when i am doing my best to cope with everything. I know I'm not mean to him i get frustrated and nag a bit but also do lots for him and wouldn't say i was any better or worse than most wives in my situation. Anyone experienced anything similar?

OP posts:
Viking1 · 14/08/2013 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onionlove · 14/08/2013 10:52

Hi Viking, thanks for your reply, its a shame because we were doing well for a few weeks and making an effort and I thought that things were getting back on track then it takes practically nothing i.e. a discussion about shopping! to get back to the same place again.
I don't really want to split but don't want to live like this, I want it to get better, I know I'm not a horrible person but its not nice being told you're insensitive etc. all the time, I can't be happy and caring 24/7 for everyone, I'm only human and some things do get me down and make me fed up and I need support sometimes.
I guess I just want to know if that's how he really feels that I'm so horrible (in which case we should probably think about what it would be like if we separated) or if he is just being sensitive but he keeps changing what he is telling me so I'm so confused and don't really know how to deal with it, the only thing I do know is that I want to be able to express how I feel about things without someone thinking I'm having a go at them all the time.

OP posts:
onionlove · 14/08/2013 14:43

my thread seems to have disappeared, anyone else got any views

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