Someone talk some sense into me

[chocolatecakeystuff]

Had a bad bad break up, 8 months ago. Resulting in a termination, which set off mental illness. All of which I never thought would happen to me.
Am Still hurting from what happened, staying sane & with it is difficult.

'Friends' of mine decided they fancied my ex .... called me childish for being upset, discussed with the ex, who I have to see on a daily basis. Up untill this point we hadn't spoken for 8 months, he said sorry for what he did. We talked properly & I've made an effort to be nice.

He's been texting non stop for the last few days & even popped over late last night aftwr work to hekp out with something.

Someone talk some sense into me. I can't get back with him. Although part of me desperatly wants to, I could never trust him again & I've never been hurt the way he hurt me. Id like to be friends but every time we try the friends thing we end up back tigether. (Have been on off a few times)

I have to see him every day, there's nothing I can do about that. I just want to be ovet him, but it feels like its all or nothing with him.

There's nothing you can do about seeing him every day - I'm assuming you're colleagues? There are (a few) other jobs out there - have you been looking? Because that's your answer - you seem to be saying you feel you have no choice but to get back together because you keep seeing him. So work on ways to stop seeing him.

And then, if you still miss him, and you're still thinking fondly of him - take it from there. Whatever you do, tell him to piss off with the pressure - don't respond to the texts, don't ask for his help after work.

I don't work with him no. This is going to totally out me.. but keep my horses at his farm. I can't afford to move them at the moment.

Why don't you just get back with him? Your life will be as fucked up as it was the last time you were together....but you will be together. It's really up to you to talk sense to yourself. Good luck!

Loving, neither of us want that. And in all honesty, a large portion of that was only fucked up because I made it that way.

I don't want to be with him. Id just like to be friends. Id like to stop hurting, and be able to move on. I never thought id be in a position to have to terminate a pregnancy, and have always been very careful not to put myself into that situation. I'll never forgive mysekf for whay happened. Or him for not being there.

He's trying to get back into your life. It's up to you whether you let him or not. If you do though be prepared for old hurt and old habits to come back.