Feeling totally f*cked over

[sameshizen]

Sorry, I'm feeling so fucking done over right now.

My DP has always had a habit of saying "well lets end it then" if ever I dare question what he says or disagree with him. I use to back off when he said it but lately I've been like "yeah ok, let's end it" and I've noticed HE backs off when I do this. So it was a control issue all along.

Anyway things have been great these past few months, no arguments, quite lovey dovey with another and feeling good about things. Tonight he snapped at my son - I disagreed with him and told him so. His reply was "well we disagree then, perhaps we really are fucked?" over one issue???

Anyway that settled. Now, his DC are here for the week and my youngest and his youngest were just sitting on the sofa. DP apparantly walked in to find my ds jumping about on it and his ds about to do the same.

DS came to me upset saying that DP had said "don't be an idiot" and had gone on to tell his DS not to copy off my DS and not be dragged down by him. I asked DP and he denies calling him an idiot but did admit to telling his ds not to copy off my ds and said he won't have my ds manipulating his ds.

He then went on to say "to be honest, I'm sick of the pair of you, I've had it up to hear with you both". meaning me and ds.

So over one little argument he decides the whole relationship needs to end? I'm feeling so fucked over right now, not only because he has shit on me relationship wise but also because he knows he has me over a fucking barrel as I have no rights on the house and no money. I trusted him to see me through my degree - he said I could trust him. Now I'm fucked arnt I and he knows it. Bastard.

He clearly doesn't like your son.
Why isn't that what you're focusing on?
Why is it ok for your son to have that in his life? In his home? Because it suits you?
Lovely!

No, he certainly doesn't sound as if he likes you at all or, more importantly, your son. Even if you did stay with him, it doesn't sound like he would have a lot of time for him or even be very nice to him! I would get out now and get on with having a good relationship with your child.

What an arse. Totally play it cool now, you are NOT fucked, you managed before and you will be fine again. Dragging your kids into his shitty games really is low.

Start getting really, icy calm. Find out what to do next and assume he is serious. Even if its just to try and control you (which I suspect) I would see it as a line has been crossed.

For yours and your DS's sake, LTB.

Truly now the relatonship has to include dc's happiness too he cnt be treated unfairly compared to e other kid and if yo DP is like this then I thnk rather u start looking for sone who will love u n yo DC sone who will accept tht u hv a DC and he wnt get annoyed by tht. Children feel wen they are not wanted and yo DP clearly doesn't love your child and tht child is a part o u so he clearly doesn't love u.

Forget everythng else it will sort itself out jus find sone else n put yo DC 1st

Yes I think for safety and security, you have accepted him, except it isn't very safe and secure...... What are your options re house and money, so you can tell him to get fucked and take off?

If you are at uni then i would suggest you talk to your course leader who will point you in the right direction in regard to getting support and advice on housing, grants etc to help you through this sticky patch. Your son should not grow up hearing the things that he is hearing.

It sounds to me that he is threatening to finish with you to get his own way. Don't give in to this emotional blackmail because if you let him do it once he will keep on doing it.

So what do you suggest the OP does Crinkle refuse to let him leave?

It's not ending over one little argument. There's enough here to know the relationship isn't working. Either he wants out or he's pretending to to control you - either option means LTB.

You need to start sorting out the practicalities, rely on no one but yourself to get you through that degree.