First time on here.....
I've been with my partner for 11 years, we have 2 lovely children (6yrs and 1yr) but I'm finding our relationship increasingly hard work. His behaviour and treatment towards me are, most of the time, mean and uncommunicative.
Our love life is dreadful, and this causes huge issues (with him) and this seems to be the cause of many arguements. He doesn't try to talk about it calmly but will make nasty comments about me being 'fridgid' and make him feel old. It's not that I'm not interested in sex, but I'm often so tired from working full time and then coming home to deal with 2 small children. Additionally he works a split shift so isn't home until nearly 8.30pm at night (when everything's done with the children and they're tucked up in bed!).
Since our second child, there's not really been much affection between us. This started whilst I was pregnant as he would refuse to have sex whilst I was pregnant (leaving me feeling unattractive/unloved) and basically it's not really improved. To be honest it doesn't bother me so much as I'd rather have the affection back initially. He doesn't see it this way and thinks it all down to me.
I'm also responsible for the finances, shopping, childcare and also the main earner. Plus my contract is ending shortly and I need to find good paying work quickly - adding to the stress! It's just all so tiring...
I did speak to him reacently about splitting up as I don't think we can stay together and be this unhappy. I've tried for as long as I can as we have the children and I don't want to let them down. I asked him why we should stay together and his only reason is because we have children (not because he loves me etc etc!!). They are the reason we've lasted as long as we have, but I can't stay this unhappy.
He is off with the children at the moment, but I'm coming home to find they've barely done anything all day - I'm not talking housework, but going out and having some fun. Playing in the garden is nice, but children need to get out and have experiences beyond the garden fence. If I suggest activities I'm made to feel that I'm controlling. But if don't suggest things, organise dinner etc then I'm greeted with messages "you didn't tell me what to do!"!
Everything he does irritates me, to the point where I try and avoid contact with him. I'm really not sure I love him anymore (not an overnight decision but something I've felt over time).
I'm at a loss - I can't honestly see a way of things improving. Would like to hear if anyone has had a similar experience, and if things did improve?? Or should we call it a day and move on? (I know it won't be easy but it has to start somewhere!)