Have set up a new username to post on here and have found the courage to finally post after putting it off for years/months. I need help, professional help, I know I do, but first I just need to talk. Hope nobody minds. Will probably be jumbled, incoherent at times and lots of drip feeding.
I've stood up to my family for the first time ever and inevitably all hell has broken out. A very brief outline of the past and our upbringing is that it was dysfunctional - break ups, criminal activity, arguments, violence, alcohol abuse.
I'm struggling with the control that they (in particular, my mother) have over me. I know they love me and I know there are reasons for the past. I make no judgement about the past, I really don't. My parents loved us but didn't know how to parent properly or nurture us. What I have an issue with is that this dysfunction continues now. There was a criminal situation in my family recently which resulted in me having a breakdown. I supported everyone throughout immensely but in a nutshell, after the court case, I expressed that it shouldn't have happened.
I'm trying to be strong against it all. I won't be screamed and shouted at anymore. I've made mistakes with how I've handled situations, will make more I'm sure but I talk to resolve things. There's no talking. There's no agreeing to disagree. There's outbursts and tempers and violence.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate any thoughts, but know there is no magic solution to this. Thank you