Hi,
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years. At the beginning of the relationship I wasn't eating and then i got pregnant pretty much straight away. We had our ds and I became depressed and agoraphobic and gained a huge amount of weight. He has coped with a lot from me including depression, social anxieties, body dis-morphia, agoraphobia and OCD.
We moved to Wales to be closer to his family for extra support as my family are useless lol. When we moved I hated it and we were constantly fighting and I became the worst I have ever been emotional wise and I hit rock bottom.
I found I wanted to do something with my life. He said he didn't want another child because we don't have enough money and that he hadn't proposed because i didn't bring anything to the relationship which to be honest I understand but I don't think it is entirely true. So I got into a course which I have completed to get into uni and I will be starting in September, but to get to this stage I moved away to somewhere that I feel a lot more comfortable and i took our son with me.
The problem is that I hate where he lives and he hates where I live. He says he tries to come down as often as he can but I know he doesn't and I give him money to get down and when he's here I pay for everything and I do all the cleaning and cooking so he can relax and spend time with ds (even though he doesn't really spend time with him and I end up playing and sorting him out).
My social anxieties are very uncontrollable and uncomfortable so when he said he didn't know whether he wanted to be with me because I don't try I said we were going to come up to him in the summer holidays anyway via train (that i am shitting myself about) for 2 weeks which is longer then the all 3 times he's been down to see us put together. It turned out he said he didn't know if he wanted to be with me because he got himself in financial trouble even though earlier in the year i gave him money to help him out.
I am paying for our train up and I know I will probably pay for rent for him and food and whatever else. He doesn't have a job although I am proud of him because he has done a week trial and apparently did really good :) but he has booked himself for a sleeve tattoo that is going to cost £200 and i'm just like wtf?
With that, the little digs at me, other money stuff, some of his family and friends being complete arses and just generally not feeling loved by him I don't know how to think and how to cope. I am trying just for the fact that I love him and know how much effort he has put in in the past and the fact that I moved away and took our son from him :( i'm not sure whether a relationship is supposed to be this hard.