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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Any advice-our 'home':(

5 replies

Vampiresandfairies · 11/08/2013 07:41

I filed for divorce a couple months ago, after a few years of giving another and another chance and hoping things would change. We were living in the same house( his house in his name and also a member of his family has a share in it too) he received my petition and spent the next couple of weeks being verbally abusive to both me and dcs and finally I had enough when it became physical so I called police then left with dcs. We are staying with family and he is in 'our' home, since he has removed the belongings that are mine and he does not want, a couple of which are broken, he is withholding the nice stuff(that is mine), he is now dismantling my furniture and putting it in the garage. I understand its his property but we have not come to an agreement yet over anything, we are supposed to be going to mediation but I fail to see the point as he is quite obviously going to live there and has not given it a thought. I have alternatives if I have to find somewhere to live but it won't be easy. If this goes to court will a judge really rule that he can live there while dcs and I have to rely on the housing allowance and find a property to rent? I just want to live there for a few years for dcs sake then move on and he can have his house. Any advice much appreciated, thank you for reading:)

OP posts:
ItsQuiteHardtocomeupwithaname · 11/08/2013 07:45

I don't know much about how it all works, but when my father in law divorced his second wife who had children (not together) , he couldn't sell the house until the children had grown up so the ex wife and children stayed in the house.
Hopefully someone will come along with more help

Walkacrossthesand · 11/08/2013 07:51

What does your solicitor say about this? Is this the set-up where you only discovered at the point of splitting up, that a member of your H's family part-owned your family home?

tribpot · 11/08/2013 07:53

The housing situation is complicated by the fact his family member owns a share in it. I think you need to get to a solicitor straight away and find out what the options are, and particularly how you can retrieve your possessions whilst the house is sorted out.

Logically you can't want to be beholden to his relative, would you be able to buy him/her out of the property?

KatAndKit · 11/08/2013 07:57

Even if the property is in his name surely the fact of your marriage means you have a right to some of the equity in the property. Also it is your children's home so he cant just chuck you out. You need to get legal advice on what to do about this situation.

Vampiresandfairies · 11/08/2013 07:58

Only found out about the arrangement since divorce proceedings started. I can't afford to buy them out. I am guessing that the family member part is the reason they have done it, to make it difficult if not impossible. Solicitor is hoping mediation may help but it won't, but I have to go:(

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