I know he's using dating websites and talking to other women. How do I end it?

[Tortoise]

Been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We don't live together or have any dc together.
About a year ago I found out he was sending and receiving dirty messages from a woman on FB and was still actively registered in POF.

We sorted things out, he closed POF account.

About a month ago I got suspicious as contact with him got less and less so I checked his emails.

He is on lots of dating sites . Most he can't even read the messages as not full member. One site I managed to get on his profile and have been reading his messages.

He has messaged quite a few people saying he'd like to get to know them. A few have replied, he gave one his Mobile number.

None of the messages I've seen are of a sexual nature just getting to know them type chatting.

But to me this is cheating and I don't want to be with him anymore. I've hardly heard from him in the last 2 weeks anyway.

So what's the best way to end it? To me, he doesn't deserve more than a text! As it's the holidays I don't really get time where I could phone him and I'm not sure I want to talk to him right now.

Also how do I tell my DC? They are 16, 13, 10 and 9. They know him quite well as he has been round here quite often and his 6 yr old DS who lives with him.

Thanks Chipping. I'm pretty confident he hasn't met up with anyone. Nothing in the messages suggests that anyway.
I know dc will be nice to his DS. He's such a cutie .

I'm as yet undecided on what to tell youngest two but happy to tell teenagers the truth.

That's fair. You know your children best. Just that younger kids can fall out for daft reasons and if they're to be at school together for a bit it might be as well to limit ammunition for the younger ones.

Because I'm a nice person and I know its hard as a single parent without any help. But I'm sure that won't happen beyond maybe a hello in passing at school or in town.

If he wants to be friends with you then he's going to have to give you £200 back, no?

Yes indeed .

Friends don't lie to one another tortoise. He's not a friend lovey.

Get the £200 back and then delete him from your life.

Lesson learned. ((hug))

I'd tell him to give back the money, or it'd become common knowledge what he's done.

I'm feeling more down as the day goes on . No reply to text, nothing. 2 years wasted on someone who obviously doesn't give a shit.

Oh and I've just seen on his emails that he's joined plenty of fish. Wanker .

Stick with it.

Don't cave, wait this out!

Silence is the strongest negotiation.

If you run to him now, you've lost.

Keep strong. You did this for a reason!

I'm staying strong, I'm more angry than anything. Shows how little he thought of me if he can move on so fast!

Can I ask - did you mean that you wanted him out of your life and not to contact you, or were you hoping at least in part that he would realise what he stood to lose and beg you to give him another chance and promise you that he'd do whatever it took, etc, etc? Is that why you're feeling upset and angry?

Cos you're really better off without him, you know that, right?

No, I didn't want him to beg for another chance or anything. I don't want to be with him. I'm angry and upset about meaning so little to him.
I know I'm better off without him, really I do but its hard when you love someone and it ends.

I know. Of course it is. You're bound to be upset. Sorry. I just wondered why you're upset that he hasn't contacted you, when you asked him not to contact you, and I wondered if you meant don't contact me or if you wanted him to, to show something to you. iyswim.

Of course you didn't mean a lot to him. Keep telling yourself that! That's why he was a cheating louse in the first place! He didn't act like you meant anything to him so you told him to sling his hook! Be bloody chuffed with yourself. You did well!

I would imagine it's come as a bit of a shock to him, tbh.

His friends all sound like dicks as well!

Sorry wrong thread! My phone app went mental!

And don't fall into the trap of thinking that because you didn't mean enough to him that you don't mean enough to anyone/the whole world. He's the problem and not you.

I said don't phone as I didn't want to talk to him. I thought I might have got a text. I don't know what I expected tbh.

I already feel like that cozie.

You'll have a few bad day/weeks no question. (We've many of us been there.) But think forward - and have a read of \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1823714-Thread-to-swap-uplifting-stories-of-life-after-divorce-separation-to-give-people-struggling-lots-of-hope-for-the-future\the uplifting thread} to get some extra perspective.

Thanks I will have a look.