Should I ask for my grandmother's ring or forget about it?

[javotte]

My parents are divorcing at the moment and things are quite nasty.
About 20 years ago my paternal grandmother gave my mother a ring. They had a strained relationship. I clearly remember my mother saying how ugly the ring was as soon as my grandmother had left the room, and she never wore it.
My grandmother died last year. Her jewellery went to her two daughters and I have nothing from her. I am afraid that my mother will sell the ring / throw it away to spite my father, or possibly give it to one of the various women she calls "the daughter I never had". (yes, there is a lot of backstory here)
I cannot think of a way to tell her I would like the ring without creating a huge scene. Would it be better if I forgot about it? Shall I wait for a couple of years until she has moved on from the divorce?

Could you casually ask her what she is planning on doing with it? Then say something like "if you don't particularly want it, could I have it for DD, it would be nice for her to have a genuine heirloom."

I'm with sassh, sorry. Sounds like asking would be rather unpredictable in terms of outcome.

Thank you so much for your input. I cannot take it from her jewellery box - she would notice and accuse my father.
Offers of money would be theatrically refused as "she doesn't care about the money" even though she's been dragging this divorce thing for two years now because she always wants more money

Oh dear, I have to have a conversation with her, haven't I?
Thank you very much again for your advice, I am really lacking in the social skills department and this is helping me a lot.

If your parent's divorce is still going through can your Father ask for it to be given to you via his solicitor? It was a ring from his side of the family and he wouldn't be asking for it back. They could at least stipulate that it is not to be sold.

It sounds like there's no right way of asking, but it's worth a try.

Perhaps you could say you know there was no love lost between them, but she was your GM, and you would like to have her wedding ring.

You should ask; what have you got to lose?

Just offer to buy it, if she doesn't let you have it then then she was never going to let you have it anyway.

If my MIL said so much as a single word about my son being born out of wedlock, I'd not be too friendly with her either.

I'm not saying your DM is right here, but please bear that in mind. I'd get your DF to ask for legal advice over the ring and see if it can be saved.

Of course if you are to be seen wearing it afterwards, she will know where its come from.

Ultimately, she has to just chill out and let it go. Hell may freeze over first though, clearly.