3rd time the fact that I have a ds has been too much to for a partner/boyfriend to move forward

[dingdangdoo]

Please excuse me if I sound like I'm throwing one big pity party as I'm absolutely floored by recent break up yesterday. So I have a ds 9 and he is my world and my priority.
10 months ago I started to see a younger man (26) I'm thirty, kept it separate from my son until I was sure he was the kind of guy I saw a future with and made sure I didn't rush into things. Things were amazing he was and still is a kind, caring, fun, ambitious and thoughtful guy. We fell In love never argued, giggled all the time, he introduced me to his family friends said he'd never been happier.
The thing is doubt crept into his mind about the progression of the relationship... He isn't hugely experience in relationships so ours must have seemed a big jump although we were very happy it must have been intense to have your 2nd relationship....1st mature one be so complicated.
Long and short of it is last night after previous discussions he decided the fear of the next step with me because I had a child was too much, i'm very much a live in the moment and do what make you happy person, he thinks and worries about the future and can focuse on things that haven't happened with a negative spin. This has happened everytime I meet someone I like or even love it's starting to make me cold and the last thing I want is to be so hurt that I develop an icy heart! ha
I'm floored by this I think because everything was so good with us, we didn't argue when breaking up both cried lots and now I just feel whoever the person is this happens. I feel a little hopeless at the mo unable to eat etc and worried about telling my son eventually. I'm devastated and left wondering what I'm doing wrong here for this to keep happening?!!
I don't have a supportive family and just have a handful of close friends some of who have kids and I don't want to wang on to them about this.
how do I pick myself up and keep trying???

Oh and don't let him mess you around

Absolutely fine that he has decided that he doesn't want to take things further - not fine if he then wah wah wahs all over the gaff , lamenting about how miserable he is or how confused he is.

If he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you. He isn't so don't let him derail you.

So we met up I laid my cards out on the table told him I wanted to put no pressure on him to be anything other than friends and comfortable with ds even though there never was any pressure from me anyway, it was his doubts and that if he is clear in his head it's too much I understand...
It was still too big an issue for him. We decided to try to be friends In time. I'm sure we'll both find it hard given it has ended in a mature, kind way on both sides. I have closure I need and I guess I'll try and date someone with his qualities but maybe do a few things differently. Although he said it was fine when I did stress the importance of ds after first getting together, he said he was so wrapped up in me that it only became apparent once we had passed that exciting stage and got into the comfortable bit of a relationship and the butterflies had worn off slightly then it kept creeping into his head. So I guess I'm not sure I could have done anything different here. it would have played out like this anyway.

Onwards and upwards I guess and no looking back . thanks guys xxxx

I'm sorry things didn't work out as you hoped, look after yourself.

Oh I am sorry, but in a way it is nice to know one way or the other. I remember when I went through a relationship post-DC which didn't work out because of the DC and someone told me "It's a good clean pain" and it was. It hurt but it wasn't tied up in deceit, confusion, emotional abuse etc etc. It hurt because it couldn't be, and that made a nice change for me in relationships!

I am sure you will meet someone right for you in the future.