Missing phone bills.

[Sneakyfucker]

On Saturday night my Dp went to his mates house for drinks, he goes to his house quite regularly, he only lives down the road.
Again on Monday, when I was settling ds down for bed (I have to go to sleep with him) he was going to said mates house to collect something that his mate had picked up for him "the other night",
I didn't have time to question but if I remembered rightly he was at his mates on Saturday. This set alarm bells ringing, I questioned it next day and he just passed it off (quickly) as nothing.
I just forgot about.
This morning it has occurred to me that I have never seen a phone bill for his mobile, we get letters which I give him but I have looked for one he got a couple of days ago and it's gone. I looked in all the bins nothing. Perhaps it's been ripped up and put inside of something or put in a neighbours wheelie bin, he goes out for walks to smoke at night.
We get on well, I'm a SAHM he works ft.
He has Facebook which I'm going to try to get in to, but he deletes everything and always has, he's also always boasted about never being "caught out" at anything as he's too "sneaky".
I'm getting worried as our sex life isn't very active, maybe 3-4 times a month, he doesn't appreciate this.
Doesn't hide his phone but if he gets a message doesn't tell me who it's from, he can be protective over his laptop though.
I'm trying to give as much detail so not to drip feed.
Any thoughts?
Btw I am very trusting and give him lots of freedom without questions.

I'm too scared to look on his Facebook page.

Hmm, I would be a bit suspicious too....but then I have been hurt in the past so it isn't surprising.

I'd trust your instinct something isn't right and start digging a bit more. It could be nothing but I stupidly ignored my instinct years ago and turned out to be right.

Should I ask where his phone bills are? Then watch his reaction.

The passwords I suspected are wrong, for Facebook.

Is it unusual not to see his phone bills?

I don't look at mine, so I doubt DP has ever seen them. I tend to rip the envelope in half and throw it away next time I'm near a bin. If I need to look something up, I'll log in online and do it - paper bills are just time consuming and rubbish. I'm not hiding anything, though.

Do you have any other reason to doubt him? Or to suspect his Facebook has the answers?

We get our mobile bills online...never had one by post, he could have opted for paperless billing?? Has he given you previous reasons to not trust him?

I'd start by talking to him, so what have you been up to? kind of question, nothing in your tone to suggest anything's up, take it from there. See how long he can go without glancing at his phone or going out of the room. If it's glued to his hand he can check it on the flimsiest of excuses. A fag break, buying a pint of milk, sudden extra helpfulness running errands, amnesia resulting in quick trips to his pal's house. One woman I talked to said her dog had never had so many walks in its life dating from when her H started to fancy a colleague.

What is your plan for tonight, spending it separately again with him off wherever or together at your place?

He's too lazy to set up online billing. I see no evidence of online bills.
Just looked at his phone, it was on a message from his mate talking about football.
Pressed the home button then it went to home screen, I hope he doesn't notice.
I bottled out of looking further. I'm shaking.
I just have a horrible feeling because of what he said about picking something up the other night, when the other night he was there.
If he disposed of the bills they would be in the bin but the envelope is in the bedroom and bill nowhere to be seen.

I was going to ask what network he's on, because online bills are pretty standard now, but if he's opened the envelope and left that in the bedroom, he's obviously not doing what I'm doing!

What phone does he have? I'm sure he won't notice his phone being on the home screen. It'll probably lock before he looks at it again, anyway.

I think with the suspicions you have, you have two choices. Either try to gather evidence, which sounds like it could be hard both because you don't know passwords and because you really don't want too, or confront him and see what he says.

I really hope it turns out well for you.

How old is DS btw?

sorry but I don't see why you would be suspicious about anything.

I do the same as caja with bills - don't open them and throw them away. tbh I do that with most bills. as for telling each other who messages us we dont do that either - we do if its a joke or if someone is asking us to go somewhere/do something or if its something interesting but if its general chit chat no we do not share.

I went through something similar to this years ago, long before online billing. ExDP used to put his phone bills straight in his workbag & they'd never be seen again. I was suspicious that he as seeing someone else anyway! I got to the bill first, steamed it open, photocopied it at work, resealed the envelope & put it back with his post! I could then analyse his bill at leisure! A bit extreme but it caught him out well & truly!

Quick ask of all the people who bin their paper bills because they use the online facility - pleeease opt for 'no paper bills please' online, which will stop the paper bills coming and save a few trees!
OP, hope you manage to get to the bottom of what's going on.

I have, WalkACross. They had a "technical error" that has meant paper copies are being sent too at the moment, but it should be resolved shortly.

Drives me mad that they waste so much paper!

Ds is nearly 2.

It's a Samsung something and with Virgin.

Yes he's off to golf then probably his mates again.

I believe he's going golf but anything could happen after as I'm having an early night again. I get about 5 hours a night so am very tired.

No other reason to be suspicious, usually I just trust him 100% and never ask questions. We are both laid back about it all.
But this bill thing and the excuse the other night just made me think.

Before now I thought he was loyal but some men think nothing of dipping their wick elsewhere.

Call his mobile company and say the bill didn't arrive - ask them to resend it. Check they are not going to charge you for it though, or it may appear on the next invoice.

You can do to his mobile phone provider website and set up on-line billing for him. He won't know anything about it.

Ok thanks ill give it a go.