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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH having an affair or am I over thinking this?

9 replies

Shrekingallover · 09/08/2013 19:13

I am heavily pregnant and have a 4 year old already. I have been with DH for 7 years and sex has never really clicked between us but we have been ok. DH has diabetes and ED so uses tablets and this has never been a problem. However, since I have been pregnant this time we have had sex once and that was at Easter. He says he is tired and stressed (long commute, new boss in town etc) which I accept but am a little fed up with now as this always seems to be the case.

He stays away a couple of nights per week and and always calls me in the evening so I have never suspected anything. However, I checked his ED tablets as I was feeling a bit upset when a friend asked me if I suspected anything and I noticed that he has used 4 in June. Now I don't care if he needs them just to sort himself out but really? Would a guy take them just for that? Which got me thinking that maybe there is a problem, either he's up to something or in need of the tablets for using porn (which has never come up in our relationship but I can't quite imagine that he never looks at it, in which case I'd be upset as I am not having a sex life).

Any ideas, reassurance would be appreciated.

OP posts:
BrokenBanana · 09/08/2013 19:16

Well he could either be cheating, or using them for himself. Either way you need to ask him.

Has his personality changed much? Glued to his phone or any of the other usual signs? If not then I would suspect he is telling the truth.

Fairenuff · 09/08/2013 19:28

Are you saying that the only time he needs to take these tablets is when he want to sustain an erection?

If that's the case how do you know he used them in June?

ImperialBlether · 09/08/2013 19:32

Maybe it's a new box, issued at the start of June?

Shrekingallover · 09/08/2013 19:34

The prescription was filled in June according to the date on the packet but they could have been used anytime after that. Maybe he does need them for even that now and I just don't know.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 09/08/2013 19:37

I'm no doctor but I wouldn't have thought he'd need to take tablets to masturbate.

Why not just tell him that you've noticed some have been used and ask him to explain what he needs them for?

ImperialBlether · 09/08/2013 19:48

Is he a bit of a dodgy character anyway? Have you had reasons not to trust him before?

Shrekingallover · 09/08/2013 19:51

All ok. Just had the chat and it seems that taking a pill every now and again helps him feel better as he explained that his diabeties causes the blood flow to decrease even when not trying to get an erection. I had a chance to explain how I was feeling about our lack of sex life too and I feel much better. Thank you for responding though it helped me get my head clear.

OP posts:
Shrekingallover · 09/08/2013 19:54

No not a dodgy character just a very private person and a bit emotionally distant so it would be easy to draw the wrong conclusions. I always joke that he would rather read his 2000 AD comics than chase women around but you never know, even nerds have been known to be tempted.

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ImperialBlether · 09/08/2013 20:08

I'm glad it's sorted out. It seems a shame he didn't make the most of it with you, though!

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