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Relationships

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Original poster

would u buy a house with other half if u weren't sure its going to last

42 replies

mrspicklepants · 09/08/2013 00:43

We've been together 6years. Very up and down we have 2yr old twins both admit we wouldn't still be together if wasn't for them and only moved in together recently as we co parented separately till then. But now it's a case of logics we r at the age to buy so buyin together makes sense. But what if we're not right for each other? I just hate wastin money renting and we might be together foreva....but what if not?? Anyone been in this set up?

OP posts:

LurcioLovesFrankie · 09/08/2013 12:19

No! It would be complete madness.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 09/08/2013 12:20

Nope. Why would you consider it? It'll be a nightmare to sort out if you split up. Why tie yourself into this even more, if you aren't sure you want to be together?

EachAndEveryHighway · 09/08/2013 12:22

I might go against the grain and say yes go for it if you are each putting in the same amount as deposit (keeps it simple in case of split), and together you articulate a 'plan b' in advance for if your relationship goes tits up. For example which of you would leave? Might one of you stay and get in a lodger? Could one of you buy the other out?

If the answer is that you'd simply have to sell, I'm not sure it'd be worth it especially as prices are so stagnant ... you'd have to live in it for quite a few years probably to recoup the moving cost - stamp duty, solicitors fees, searches etc.

minkembernard · 09/08/2013 12:34

Why not one of you buy and own the house and the other pay rent? Keep it separate though so that e.g. the owner takes responsibility for all repairs etc.

If you cannot afford to do ot that way then you cannot afford it if you split up. so it would be a bad idea.

At the very least you would need a clear plan for what happens if it did go wrong.

cloudskitchen · 09/08/2013 12:43

No way. You need to think of practical things like stamp duty that you would have to pay if buying. Penalty charges for cashing in mortgage early if things go wrong. All wasted money in the event of having to sell. I would suggest renting for at least 2-3 more years and the reassess. Good luck x

StraightJacket · 09/08/2013 12:48

No, definitely not! It is only so long before staying together for the kids becomes too hard and one or both of you meets someone else.

If you don't really love each other, and want to be with each other kids or no kids, then it is a bad idea and will end up seriously messy when a split does occur.

MadBusLady · 09/08/2013 13:18

Solicitors fees, removal costs, survey cost, stamp duty, potentially early repayment charges could add up to thousands you won't get back if you split. Are you sure it makes sense?

Why has he moved in anyway? What was wrong with the separate co-parenting arrangement?

hellsbellsmelons · 09/08/2013 13:55

Absolutely no way would I.
I was with my ex for 15 years.
4 years on from separation and I'm still trying untangle myself from him financially.
It's an absolute nightmare.
Don't do it!!!

WhiteandGreen · 09/08/2013 13:57

It looks pretty unanimous OP!

Crinkle77 · 09/08/2013 14:37

God no deffo don't do it

Kidsnbikes · 09/08/2013 15:31

Like velvet spoon with the benefit of hindsight , no. It can work for some but you have doubts before you even start.

coffeeslave · 09/08/2013 15:58

I'd say no, BUT if you decide to do it anyway: buy as tenants-in-common, NOT joint tenants.

Frettchen · 09/08/2013 16:21

Don't do it.

If there's nothing pushing you out of your current place then I'd recomment you keep renting for a little while longer. If you discover that it works out well being together and you gain some confidence in the durability of your relationship then you can talk about buying. It doesn't sound like it would be a good idea at the moment.

NotYoMomma · 09/08/2013 17:50

no way

Lora1982 · 09/08/2013 18:37

Dont do it. When I wanted to buy my dp of 6 yrs wasnt sure so I thought fu and did it myself, he paid rent to me. Further on he kept bugging me to be put on the mortgage but I didnt want him to be on it after all the trouble id gone through to get it, plus the sight of him was starting to get on my nerves. Anyway when we finished 4 yrs later it was a nightmare trying to get him to leave but in the end (5month later!!!!) He was out thank god he wasnt on the mortgage.

Original poster

mrspicklepants · 09/08/2013 21:32

Yes thanks all it does seem pretty unanimous that's true!! I know I had a gut feeling its not a good idea but then again the thought of carrying on paying someone else's mortgage for them and never laying down our own foundations is not nice either. Plus I bet a lot of splits are people who moved in together all loved up thinking everythin would be rosy and I'm just more realistic!?? I really couldn't say whether we'd be likely to last or not.... We moved in together as I was struggling looking after twin toddlers with my health problem flaring up as it was and we thought we would also be able to make a proper go of things. I didn't expect it to be easy I am not that easy to live with0:) but we have kind of come through it all and I do think we love each other but I am never that sure of anything really! Constantly doubt myself.i won't rush into anything now tho. A year or two won't make much difference hopefully.

OP posts:

MissRatty · 09/08/2013 22:25

Good grief, don't do it. My ex and I bought together, and he went off with his best mate's seconds six months later. When I asked when he knew it wasn't meant to be for us, he said about a year before we bought together! Needless to say it was a flippin' nightmare sorting that place out. Luckily I had the sense to just sign it over and cut my own losses, and good job too as our flat has now lost about 30k in value. Karma maybe, but like someone said before, it is harder to get out of than a marriage!

It could be a very costly exercise if you know you have doubts now. Rent until you are both a hundred percent certain things will work out.

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