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Original poster

so do your DH's lie about the little things?

19 replies

nellieloula · 07/08/2013 19:04

just wondering if this is just men, or just mine! Not big lies, more telling me what he thinks i want to know...in this case whether he's been smoking or not. I frankly couldn't care less, but I do care that he lies about it. Am I over-reacting? Do your DH's do this to and do you ignore it??

OP posts:
EvenBetter · 07/08/2013 19:09

God no! He doesn't tell lies. For what purpose?

I couldn't respect a liar, and I wouldn't be in a relationship with one.

BeerTricksPotter · 07/08/2013 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anniegetyourgun · 07/08/2013 19:16

Used to have one of those. Should have ditched him the first time I caught him telling silly childish porkies. Reeking of smoke, with a smouldering butt at his feet, he'd still deny it, even though I'd told him till I was blue in the face that it wasn't the smoking that drove me crazy, it was the lying. And of course the reverse of the coin was that because he wouldn't know the truth if it bit him, he assumed I must be dishonest too. Angry

Oh, so many reasons why he is ex.

Oodelaranana · 07/08/2013 19:21

My ex was like this too. Just subtle unnecessary deviations of the truth, usually to make himself look more impressive. I hated it at the time and it turned out honesty in a more fundamental sense was not high on his list of attributes. He'd had at least one affair and gradually became more and more abusive as our relationship progressed.

My DP now is scrupulously honest which I love.

BrawToken · 07/08/2013 19:22

My ex lied a lot. I only learned the extent of it when he moved out (because of lies). So glad we are not together any more.

Riddo · 07/08/2013 19:25

DH never lies even when it would be diplomatic to do so. At least I know onthe rare occasion that he tells me I look good, that he means it. Grin

overmydeadbody · 07/08/2013 19:25

My ex lied. Hence why he is an ex.

My lovely DP never lies about anything, neither of us see the point.

I would not tolerate lies, and it makes no sense to lie about the small unimportant stuff.

isitsnowingyet · 07/08/2013 19:34

Absolutely - white lies of things he would prefer me not to know. Usually making things a bit cheaper (that he's spent on) to make it sound better. Not ideal perhaps, but no one is totally perfect - He wouldn't be seeing someone behind my back etc,

Original poster
nellieloula · 07/08/2013 19:35

well, good to know I'm not over-reacting I guess.

Beer, you're so right - it is childish and counter-productive. Exactly that.

In all other things, he is great - I just can't get my head around this one. Every time we discuss it he admits he is wrong and stupid to do it...not sure what to do really. He assures me that this is the only thing he would not be completely honest about...and I do believe him...but then I guess there is always this little niggle....not good.

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 07/08/2013 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 07/08/2013 20:17

Nope, he isn't 6yo

Yama · 07/08/2013 20:19

I can't stand being lied to. It's like being treated as if you are stupid.

So, no dh doesn't lie.

Hassled · 07/08/2013 20:22

I would have said no, but a couple of days ago DH lied quite easily about something completely trivial - not having seen a text in time to buy the thing I was asking him to buy. He's forgotten that you can see when a text has been read on our phones. And it has disproportionately angered me - I didn't care about the thing he should have bought (well I did - it was wine) but I did care about the casual, easy lying.

So yes - I get where you're coming from. It's really disrespectful and childish.

firesidechat · 07/08/2013 22:56

Neither husband nor I will lie about anything and sometimes our inability to lie can lead to serious foot in mouth disease. I also think that the fact that we don't play mind games is one of the things that attracted us to each other in the first place and why we are still married nearly 30 years later.

Can't stand sulkers or liars.

Mouseyinmyhousey · 07/08/2013 23:08

Both my LTR's have told 'white lies' often for no reason at all. It makes me very uneasy.

arsenaltilidie · 07/08/2013 23:18

Nope, I'm a man I don't lie.

AlpacaLunchYoubringyourbooster · 08/08/2013 08:03

Not that I know of, unless he is a very accomplished lair with an excellent memory. I can guarantee the latter is not true from bitter experience.

I do know a few people who tell a few white lies and tall tales but it always makes me think they must be a little dull if they have to embellish the truth all the time.

Id rather talk to someone boring than full of shit.

LadyLech · 08/08/2013 08:19

No, absolutely not. For a couple of reasons:

1, I am very clear that I do not tolerate lying. I personally believe that if you do not have trust in a relationship (and how can you trust someone who lies to you?) then it devalues the whole relationship, so it would be a total deal breaker for me. My husband knows this.

  1. He has a really shit memory, whilst I have a really good one. He knows when I pick up on lies that other people have said. I can easily remember inconsistencies in people's statements - for example, like the bloke who one time told me that he earnt well in excess of £20k a year, but also told me at another time that he had never bought home a monthly pay packet of £1k. This with no significant extras. He turned out to be a complete liar - whilst everyone was surprised by this, I wasn't as I'd been privately telling my husband my inconsistently for years! can more or less remember when both statements were said (not dates, but where we were, who we were with etc), so can recall quite a bit, and so spot inconsistencies in statements, the little white lies that friends tell and so on... Therefore, I don't think my DH would even bother trying - he wouldn't get away with it Grin.
LadyLech · 08/08/2013 08:21
  • his inconsistencies for years. I can easily...
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